Surviving Winter Break with Your College Student

copyright 2014 Francesca Gragg 

Tips For Fabulous Finals Week Care Packages

Finals week is a popular time for parents to send care packages to students.  There are a number of online merchants who will send basic care packages to your student and a Google search will turn up dozens of them offering various packages in various price ranges. Most students, however, prefer the personal touch and sending a care package is not difficult if you follow these tips.

1. If you send baked goods, try to send soft items such as unfrosted cakes or cupcakes, muffins, brownies, or bar cookies. *Cookies that are crisp will turn into crumbs during shipment.
2. If you are sending a cake, brownies/ bars, cupcakes or muffins, simply bake it in the pan (the recyclable aluminum or non-stick varieties work well and come with a cover) and send the entire pan uncut to preserve freshness. This method also works well with rice crispy treats or other bars that do not require refrigeration. 
3. I'm also a fan of the gingerbread house kits available in stores during the holidays. No, it's not like a homemade gingerbread house, but it's a fun and yummy distraction from the stress of studying for final exams.
4. Send your child a specialty item from your hometown or something else he can’t get on campus. You may also consider sending items that are expensive for him to purchase himself. Even “K-cups” can add up if he uses more than one or two per day.
5. Send a pizza party from the internet. Most national pizza delivery chains (think Pizza Hut etc) and many local ones, offer online ordering of pizzas, snacks and drinks. Average cost for a large pizza, wings, and drinks for a party of 4-6 is $40.00 plus tip. Be sure to make arrangements with your child in advance so he knows when the party will arrive and can invite his friends.
6. * Commuting students love care packages too! A gift basket of favorite snacks or gift cards to shops or restaurants on or near campus left outside your commuting student’s bedroom door says, “I love you” and is just as comforting to a student living at home too! the gift cards will be welcome while he's studying on campus instead of at home.

7. I'm a big fan of the pre-paid priority boxes from the USPS. Not only are they generally a good size for a care package, they are automatically tracked so you know when the package arrives. 

Finding the Off-Campus Housing Fit

Thanksgiving break is an ideal time to discuss your college student's plans for living arrangements for the next academic year. So, I'm excited to present this guest blog post by Jackie Schwirian. Jackie is a Leasing Manager at one of the large, college student-focused apartment complexes in Stillwater, and she has some valuable insights to share with students and parents before they seek out off-campus housing.

While college life is filled with many new experiences for students, it’s also filled with many new responsibilities and decisions. For parents of college students, helping to choose a safe, reliable, and value-worthy off-campus home for their son/daughter to live can be a daunting process filled with many obstacles and hidden costs.

Attracted to Cheap

When students focus on “cheap,” safety and reliability are often left out-of-focus, leaving the student in disarray when problems arise. Before parents and their son/daughter decide on an apartment, the following questions should be considered:

• What happens when a landlord is not available if a maintenance problem arises?
• What if the landlord repeatedly comes into the apartment unannounced?
• What if the heating bill is well over your allotted budget for the winter months?
• What happens if the roommate(s) refuse to share the cost of the internet and cable TV bills?
• What if the roommate(s) refuse to pay his/her share of the rent?

Finding the Off-Campus Housing Fit

Safety and reliability are the most important, but helping your son/daughter find an apartment (and community) that fits their lifestyle are just as important. For example, some apartments cater to the full-time student with a heavy class load by offering study rooms; some do not. If specific housing options are not listed on the apartment’s website, students and their parent(s) could find a benefit to browsing social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter and Instagram to get an idea of what residents and leasing professionals are sharing about the apartment and community.

Wake-up Call

While each apartment is different, the management responsible for leasing the apartment(s)/property will likely stay the same. Oftentimes, websites and leasing professionals omit hidden costs such as utility charges, which some tenants wouldn’t necessarily consider when calculating the overall leasing costs.  Have your student take time to read the lease carefully and ask the leasing agent to go over the lease with your student. Oftentimes students come up with valuable questions when the lease is reviewed in detail with the leasing agent. 

• Before your son or daughter hears the words “sign here,” take time to research the safety, reliability, and convenience of an apartment community to maximize your student’s experience and put you and your student at ease with the next off-campus housing decision.

-Jackie Schwirian, Leasing & Marketing Manager, The Reserve on Perkins 

Help Your Student Avoid Electronic Distractions in Class

There’s a name for students who try to hide their phones in their laps while they attend class- “crotchgazers”. You know how annoying it is when you’re trying to have a family meal or just speak to your child without the interruptions of constant texting or Tweeting. If you’re like me, there’s nothing more irritating than having your child half-heartedly answer your questions while he stares at the cell phone in his lap. Now, imagine how maddening it is for a professor trying to communicate with 25, 75 or 205 crotchgazers in a classroom.

One disadvantage to college students being constantly connected is that they’re well, constantly connected. That means that even while students are physically in class and honestly trying to learn, they are also incessantly being vibrated away from the work at hand. In many ways it’s not their fault, it's ours. Parents have been known to panic if we don’t hear from them for a couple of days, so they know that if they don’t reply to us with at least an “ok” or even a “k” we just might freak out and call the campus police to conduct a welfare check on them.

Today’s college students feel compelled to check and reply to texts, Tweets, Facebook posts and the like, so cell phones themselves, the very same magical device we all rely on to keep us connected are also the same devices that keep students distracted and damage their ability to fully engage in class and learning. While almost every college or certainly every individual professor has policies against the use of electronics in the classroom, the problems persist. Students know that if they’re careful enough, they can fly under the professor’s radar, but at what cost? Students who allow themselves to become distracted by every chirp or vibration of their phone are not only wasting the money they spent to be in the class, they are cheating themselves out of learning for something they can easily access during the other 20 hours every day in which the are not in a classroom. 

The best advice you can give your student on this subject is to suggest he turn off his phone while in class and catch up with friends, and you too, once he leaves the lecture hall.You can help out even more by asking him to tell you his class schedule and only contacting him when you know he is not in class. 

Keep Applying for Scholarships

Many times students and parents will ask the best ways to win scholarships. While there are obvious ways to improve your chances of winning scholarships like earning high grades, being involved on campus, and submitting excellent applications, see the post about scholarship application advice there are several things your child needs to remember while applying.

1. No scholarship is too small. Some students simply don’t apply for small scholarships of $100.00 to $500.00 because they only see the difference between $100.00 and their $9,000.00 tuition and fees bill. But, instead of just looking at the difference, look at what $100.00 is worth. When I see $100.00, I see some textbooks, a couple of tanks of gas, a few weeks of groceries, and some extra cash for an emergency. 
2. Always do the math. If your child is working part time to help finance college, how many hours would it take him to earn $100.00 to $500.00 after taxes? Most college students earn minimum wage or pretty close to it, so after taxes they clear about $6.00 per hour. It would take the average student about 83 hours to bring home $500.00. That’s a month of working 20+ hours per week! Even if your child spends only two hours per week during the academic year completing and submitting scholarship applications and only wins $500.00, he still comes out ahead.
3. Scholarships are free money, but don’t treat them that way. Some students win big scholarships and think they can promptly quit their part time job, or spend the money on non-educational expenses. These are bad ideas for a few reasons:

• Scholarships are intended to help students afford college so the funds should always go either directly to the college or to pay for college related expenses.

• Unless the student is in his senior year and expects to graduate on time and not pursue graduate education, the money should be saved in a separate account for college related expenses. Otherwise, the student may run through his scholarship money before he finishes college.
• Scholarships are extra, unexpected funds and therefore should not be relied upon as a steady stream of financial support. Many students have lost scholarships in their junior or senior year due to low grades, missed deadlines, or changing their major to one not supported by the scholarship fund.

Is the Honeymoon Over?

By the middle of the fall semester some freshmen start to realize that college classes are harder that they expected, their roommate’s once innocuous habits are more annoying than they thought they would be, and the dining hall food is starting to get a little too predictable. In other words, the honeymoon is over. This is a typical setback that many students face at about this time of year. If you think that your child is feeling a little down about college in general, rest assured that he’s not alone, and there are things that can be done to revitalize his campus experience before the end of the semester.

• Recommit to classes. This includes attending every class, even when it’s cold outside in the morning! Also, remind him that just because many other students have started to slip behind in class assignments and readings doesn’t mean that he can. Suggest he make a pledge to catch up on class work and set aside a few evenings or an entire weekend to spend in the library doing just that. Remind him that having fun is just fine as long as he’s finished his work first!

• Find a “happy place” on campus. Sometimes students just need to take a mental vacation from the hustle and bustle of college life. Students who find a quiet, peaceful place, or a few, on campus can use their time there to mentally regroup each day. This habit makes it easier to handle the little ups and downs that life will throw at them. a quiet corner of the library, some headphones, and twenty minutes of time is often enough to relax and recharge.

• Get a full night’s sleep. College students almost never get enough sleep. A full eight hour rest is rare especially if they are constantly awakened throughout the night by texts and tweets. Suggest that your student get to bed an hour earlier than he now does and recommend that he either turn off his phone or leave it in a place where it will not disturb his sleep.

• Too far to come home. If your student attends college too far from home for a weekend visit, maybe you can meet somewhere in the middle. Students seem to love a weekend at a hotel where they leave their cares behind on campus and focus on studying, sleeping and enjoying a few hearty meals with family. 

College Students with Disabilities

This is the time in the semester when some students with learning disabilities start to struggle in classes. Sometimes, a student with a documented learning disability will refuse to self-identifying to the college’s student disability office and will try to “tough it out” through the semester without seeking  help or accommodations for his learning disability. This tactic almost always leads to the student struggling and being more stressed than necessary. If this sounds like your student remind him that it is never too late to meet with someone in the student disability office (sometimes accommodations are also managed through the counseling, student affairs, or academic affairs office.) 

Some things to consider as your student seeks help:

• If your child had a documented disability in high school and benefited from an Independent Education Plan, or IEP, in K-12 he may be eligible for accommodations through his college’s Disability Services office.

• Once a student starts college he has a much greater responsibility for his own education including self-identifying as having a disability and presenting the required documentation to the college’s disability services office.

• Even students who've had IEPs from age 6 and beyond will need to provide current documentation of the disability and the need for academic accommodations.

• The college environment and academics are quite different from K-12, for example, K-12 public school districts are required to provide a “free appropriate public education” to students with disabilities. Colleges however, are required to provide “appropriate academic adjustments as necessary to ensure that it does not discriminate on the basis of disability.” 

• An excellent site for basic information about disabled students’ rights and responsibilities is: http://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/transition.html

A College Financing Dilemma

Even though this is a question from the parent of a college junior, I thought it was relevant enough to share with freshman parents and definitely something to remember as your child goes through college.


Q: My daughter has run out of money in her junior year. Should she take out a loan for her senior year or try to work more hours to earn more money? She really wanted to graduate debt free.

A: This is a tough question and will require a lot of evaluation and planning on our daughter’s part. If she wants to graduate without debt she can, but she will probably have to take two or three years to finish her “senior year” while she works at least full time. Before she makes her final decision though, she needs to evaluate the following:

1.     How much can she earn working full time?  Minimum wage in most parts of the country is still $7.25 per hour, which may or may not be enough for her to live on and also pay for school part time.

2.     If she already has a part time job and can become a full time employee with the same employer, will she get a raise or benefits package that will make it worth her while to switch to full time?

3.     If she can’t work full time with one employer, will she be able to work two part time jobs? Will they both offer steady, year-round employment?

4.     What will her full time job prospects be upon graduation? She will need to honestly evaluate how much she can expect to earn upon graduating by researching the recent starting salaries of other students with similar GPAs and experience, from her same college and degree program. From this information she can calculate if it will be worth it for her to take two or three years to graduate while missing out on those same years of full time earnings and benefits in her chosen field.

5.     If she’s a strong student in a proven lucrative major field of study, it may be better for her to take out a federal student loan for her final year and pay it off early upon finding her first job.

6.     She also needs to make sure that switching to part time status will not force her to take required course work out of sequence, or make her ineligible for any scholarships, grants, work-study, or insurance policies (health or auto) she now has.

Mid-term Grades

Not all colleges and universities post mid-term grades, but if your student’s does, now is a good time to ask them to review their mid-term grades with you. If grades are good, keep up the good work! If not, there are a few things to consider before you panic.

1. Most mid-term grades only reflect one or two grades on quizzes or papers and are typically lower than final grades. Some faculty will even list a grade of “I” or “Incomplete” because there have not been enough opportunities for students to earn a valid grade. The student should always check the syllabus or login to an online classroom site for the class to understand how their mid-term grade is actually being calculated. If this information is not posted in the syllabus or online, the student can always meet with the professor to find out how the grade was calculated. 
2. If the grade is low (a D or C) but not failing, now is an ideal time to start working with a tutor or increasing study hours to boost grades in the second half of the semester. Most freshmen employ the same study strategies they used in high school and these approaches are simply insufficient for college classes. Sometimes, students just need to spend some time with a tutor or academic counselor to learn more effective study techniques.
3. If your student feels like the grade is too low to raise, even with extra help or outside work, they need to set up an appointment with the professor or an adviser immediately to discuss ways to either salvage the grade in the class or drop the class to save their overall GPA. *NOTE- Some scholarships or grants require a specific GPA to maintain the award, so staying informed of those requirements will help students decide on the best course of action. 

Now is a Great Time to Reevaluate Spending

October is a good time for you to help your student reevaluate his or her budget. By this time in the semester, most students have a somewhat set spending pattern, so this is a good time to look at the following expenditures to make sure they fit into your student's original budget.

Meal Plans - Is your child using more of the meal plan that you expected? If it looks like he may run out before the end of the semester, it may be time to add some funds to the meal plan or discuss ways for him to economize what funds he has left. Students can save money by scrutinizing how they spend their meal plan and cutting out extras such as snacks, high cost soft drinks or coffees, or maybe he can switch to eating a quick breakfast in his room or apartment three days per week instead of buying breakfast on the way to class.

Fun Money - Everyone needs a little extra money for going out to movies, or for meals, but if it looks like your student will run out of fun money by November 1st, that's NOT fun. Students should explore the numerous free or low cost activities on campus by reading the campus paper or watching campus advertising and social media. Programs sponsored by residence halls and the activities boards are always popular as well. Students can still go out with their friends, but attending free events or going out for an ice cream or a coffee instead of an entire meal can save a lot of fun money over time - more fun for less money!

Money Leaks - This is a great time to look for money leaks and fix them before the end of the semester. Depending on your student, money leaks can take the form of just about anything. Maybe he's downloading too many $1.99 apps or games (those add up!), maybe she's buying too many t-shirts, or maybe he's spending too much on gasoline by driving instead of walking, riding a bike, or taking the bus. This is where parents can help their child understand budgeting and work on a plan to control spending.

Student Health and Property Insurance

Does my student need personal property insurance on campus?

This is another one of those “grown-up” issues that students will need to be aware of before they head to campus. It is estimated that students bring between $5,000.00 to $10,000.00 worth of personal property with them to campus and when you combine all those easily carried valuables with the laid-back, open atmosphere on most college campuses, you have a recipe for property loss. In fact, larceny is the most reported crime on most college campuses. With this in mind, insurance is a must, but what kind?

Most homeowner’s policies will cover students’ valuables if they are living on campus and still list the family’s home address as their permanent address.  Even so, it is always a good idea to confirm your coverage and its limitations with your insurance agent before your child leaves for college. Also keep in mind that if your child makes claims against your homeowner’s policy, it could negatively affect your rate and ability to maintain coverage.

Another option is renter’s or student insurance. Renter’s or student insurance can cover a specific amount or just specific items and is usually very affordable. It will also not adversely affect your homeowner’s policy of your child makes a claim. Most major insurance companies offer renter’s insurance so speak to your current agent for the best rate.

What about health insurance?

If there was ever a hot-button issue in the United States today, this is it. The cost of healthcare and insurance is staggering and although healthcare and coverage is usually the last thing on your student’s mind it is essential that you discuss the ins and outs of your policy with your child.  Imagine your dismay and frustration when you discover that your child went to an out-of network emergency room or clinic for a broken wrist when an in-network hospital was just a few more miles down the road.  The difference in the bills could well be in the thousands so it is important to discuss your policy with your child and determine where the in-network facilities are located near campus. The last thing either of you want is to pay for out-of-network medical bills instead of tuition.

Most medium to large campuses have their own health service centers or walk-in clinics on campus, and many times campus clinics are cheaper for certain services due to grants and subsidies. But, it is still a good idea to compare costs for routine visits, physicals, and prescriptions before he starts college.

Scholarship Application Advice

Honestly, nothing bugs me more than sloppy scholarship or award applications. Considering that the organization or donor is willing to hand you hundreds or thousands of dollars in free money you need to have enough regard for yourself and the committee to put forth your best effort. So, here’s my super honest advice for students about submitting scholarship applications.

1.     Make sure your application is typed and in a legible font. Applications that are handwritten or in illegible fonts WILL stand out, and then they are usually shredded without any further consideration. If you are turning the application in on paper and not electronically, make sure that the application is neat and not creased or wrinkled. If the application must be submitted electronically, follow the submission instructions, or if there are no specific instructions, submit it as a PDF, with your name and the scholarship’s name included as part of the PDF’s name.

 2.     Make sure your application is complete, and follow the instructions to the letter. If the instructions specify that an official transcript be attached, then attach an official transcript. Not a copy, not an unofficial transcript, not a screen shot of one from your phone, but an official transcript.

 3.     Submit the application on time. I’m sure that everyone has legitimate excuses for why they miss deadlines, but as a scholarship administrator I’m more concerned with scoring the already huge stack of applications that were submitted on time.

 4.     Proofread your application, then have a professor, tutor, or a trusted friend proofread it, then proofread it again. Remember, we want to give you free money; the least you can do is proof your work.

 5.     Tell your story. Usually, the selection committee only has about 3-10 application pages to figure out who you are and why we should give you the award. Tell your story honestly and as thoroughly as possible. Don’t dismiss activities as unimportant because you think they’re not grand enough to impress us. We are just as impressed by students who volunteer to read to preschoolers as we are by those who write research grants.

I have scored numerous scholarships over the past two decades and I can tell you that the students who get scholarships are the ones who submit clean, completed applications, before the deadline, and who take the time to have their applications reviewed for errors. Students who put forth the extra 10% of effort to submit well-prepared applications are usually the ones who win the awards, and the best thing is, once you’ve completed a few scholarship applications, they get easier and easier to submit.

Students need to look at scholarship applications from the selection committee’s perspective. The committee is usually comprised of volunteers who are already extremely busy and each person on it only has a few sheets of paper in your application to decide whether or not to give you a $1,000.00 or more, so make a good impression!

After you receive the scholarship send at brief thank you note or letter thanking the committee and giving us an update on how the scholarship will help you attain your educational goals. We do remember these letters and we may even score another one of your applications or remember you when we serve on another committee.

College Parenting 101: Why we can't just "let go"

If you attended college any time before 1990 there were probably no parent orientations, parents’ associations, or family weekends at your college. In fact, if your parents ever spent any time at your college beyond move-in day or graduation you were part of a small minority. Obviously, things have changed dramatically over the past few decades, and colleges and universities are ramping up programs for the parents and families of their students that were completely absent 30 years ago. Some reasons for these changes in programs are:

1. College costs much more. I mean, much more, than it did 30 years ago.  I know I don’t need to tell you this since you are still swooning from the sticker shock you have undoubtedly experienced in the past several months. With these higher costs come higher expectations, especially from parents who are footing most, or at least more, of students’ college expenses.
2. We live in the age of twenty-four hour per day, seven day per week , three hundred and sixty five day per year communication and information. With cell phones, video chat, and social media readily available to almost everyone, we have come to expect the ability to find information and contact anyone, in any place, at any time immediately. This means that when students have even small problems they can immediately call a parent for advice instead of having to wait to find a phone. Years ago, waiting to find a phone, and the time to call one’s parent, meant that we had the time to process problems and decide whether or not they were worth discussing with a family member, which they usually weren’t.
3. Constant access to news media from around the world also means that any crisis that occurs at any college in the country, or anywhere in the world seems like it happened next door and is surely a crisis where our child attends. We fear that it is threatening them personally, instead of an isolated incident. We no longer have the comfortable insulation of time and distance to temper these sensational news stories and safety is always on our minds.
4. Our generation of parents has had fewer children than previous generations, and we have been more involved in their lives both in and out of school. In other words, we have a lot of time, money, effort, and love investing in our 2.06 children and their success. We have been told since they were in utero that we are 100% responsible, both socially and legally, for their care and behavior. Now, all of a sudden when they enroll in college, we are supposed to simply let go of this “adult” who it seems was just yesterday hitting a baseball off a tee. Letting go of your child is easier said than done, and most of us, and our college-bound children face a steep learning curve in these lessons of letting go.

What are Typical Mandatory Fees?

Depending on how your child’s college compiles bills, you may be surprised to notice that “fees” sometimes cost more than tuition. So, what exactly are these “fees” and why do they cost so much?Almost every college charges some kind of fees and they cost so much because they cover so many things. Fees usually cover the nuts and bolts of the university. Obviously, a college has physical structures to maintain, utilities to pay, water to treat, lawns to mow, and custodians to pay, these are usually lumped into something called facilities fees.

Other fees may cover technology including hardware maintenance, software licenses, print stations, the IT folks who make the computers and servers work. Still more fees may cover all the student events and activities that keep your child engaged in fun, positive activities instead some of the rather unhealthy activities that some students enjoy in bars and nightclubs.  In short, fees cover most of the non-academic foundations of the university and make it a nice, safe place to live and learn. At community, technical, and online colleges, these fees are often much lower, but also cover fewer amenities, so where your child attends college will make a big difference in his fee requirements.

Here's another way to look at fees - Consider all of the things that your child spent money on all through high school.  There were probably several small fees for several events, activities, sports teams, and field trips that you paid each month as the need arose, and if you ever kept a running total you'd easily see a figure between $600.00 to $6000.00 per year. But, now that your child is in college, those expenses are rolled into a lump sum called "activity fees".

Having said that, it is absolutely essential that you and your child know exactly where your fee money goes. Students who pay fees for a recreation center need to use that center unless they are interested in throwing away their money. Students whose fees include usage of the campus bus system can save thousands by taking the bus, that they’ve already paid for, instead of using a car

Is Your Child a "First Generation" College Student?

Each college will have it’s own definition of a first generation student, but usually, If your child is the first in your family to attend college they are considered “first generation”. Some campuses even extend this title to students whose parents or other family members attended college, but did not graduate. Whatever the definition, first generation college students universally experience stress, a feeling of being an outsider on campus, and the burden of being the trailblazer for their entire family.

For first generation parents it’s important not to be intimidated by college, and the best way to do this is to learn as much as you can about your child’s college and where he can go for help if he needs it. Almost all colleges have handbooks for students and many have parent handbooks as well. Find copies of these books, read them thoroughly, and keep them handy. College websites are also wonderful resources for first generation parents.

For most students, having a parent or family member take an interest in their education and being willing to listen and find out more about their college is half the battle. First generation parents don’t have to know all, or any, of the answers to their child’s questions they just have to know how to help find the answers. The first step in this process is having your child clarify the question. You may think that asking him more questions is the last thing he needs now, but it’s the best way to pinpoint the potential problem and start working on a solution.

Keep in mind that as your child is learning, this is also a great learning experience for you too. Take advantage of programs on campus or parent networks that can help ease these transitions for you and your child and never be afraid to ask questions.

Discussing Family Finances With Your College Student

When I was a child people didn’t really talk about finances or how much they earned. I never asked my parents what they earned because I knew that the subject was taboo and there was no point in asking a question to which there would be no answer. My only reliable gauge of whether or not they were having financial trouble was how often they argued about money, and how nasty the arguments got. In short, I knew nothing about my family’s finances except that the lack of money caused arguments and family-wide tension. If you are of my generation and are now sending your child to college you may have had a similar experiences growing up, and if your own child doesn’t know much about family finances you need to have a frank discussion with him before he starts college.

This discussion is important for two reasons. First it expresses to your child how much you have to work to provide for the family and second it helps him understand his piece of the family’s financial pie. When I talk to college parents each summer, I cover this topic briefly and when I do, the audience grows tense.  While I understand the desire to take care of the tuition and fees for your child so he can focus on academics instead of money, it doesn’t mean that your child should remain in the dark about where the money comes from and how it's used.  

1. Discuss the college financing puzzle with your child. It’s rare for families to be able to pay cash for tuition, fees, room, board, books, and spending money. Even students from families that have saved diligently still seek out scholarships, part time jobs, or maybe even loans. Families often find that while tuition and fees can be paid from a 529 plan, room and board needs to be paid off monthly through a payment plan, and grandparents end up sending some cash to cover books or spending money. Most families collect funds from a variety of sources and have to assemble the college financing puzzle a little differently each year. Make sure your student understands this puzzle and actively helps you build it.

2. Talk about how he can help. Part time or summer employment, scholarships, student loans, graduating in 4 years, living frugally while in college; all of these are ways that parents hope their children will help them afford college, but we don’t always clearly express these expectations to our children. I have numerous conversations with parents halfway through each year in which they explain that they assumed their child would find a part time job to help pay for spending money and books. Unfortunately, the child was unaware of this assumption and never bothered to find a job. Instead, he’s used an entire year’s worth of spending money in four months. If you expect your child to live within a set budget or bring home $80.00 per week to reimburse you for his meal plan, tell him. Be clear and give him exact numbers so he knows that not only will he need to find a job, he’ll need to find one where he can earn at least $80.00 per week after taxes.

3. Plan for family financial emergencies. Having worked with college parents for nine years I’ve seen a lot of families go through a lot of financial problems. While there are some sad but rare occasions when a parent uses funds from a PLUS loan for a personal shopping spree or a vacation, most of the time financial emergencies happen because of job loss, illness and medical bills, or divorce. Your child deserves to know what your plan is in case these situations arise and it’s beneficial for everyone to work out a strategy to try to keep your child in college. This may mean that your child switches to part time status, transfers to a college near home, or has to take out a loan. Keep in mind that the goal of earning a college degree doesn’t have to change, but the strategies used to achieve that goal may.

Remedial and Non-credit Classes

Some students have to take a non-credit, remedial, or basic skills class before enrolling in classes for college credit in the subject. For each non-credit class the student must take, the credits will have to be made up in summer school or by taking an extra semester. A student placing into non-credit classes is not uncommon and is the result of a few issues:

1.              The student has taken a placement exam (often part of the orientation process) and from the scores earned on the test has been placed in the remedial class. Let’s face it, sometimes students coast through their senior year of high school and don’t put forth the effort required to maintain their skills in a specific subject, especially one they don’t like in the first place. Once June, July, or August rolls around and they take the placement test as part of college orientation or enrollment they haven’t even thought about the subject for six to twelve months. If this is the case, there is virtually no way they can improve their skills on the subject in time to jump right into a college level class. Basically, they need a refresher to be successful in a regular college class.

2.              The student’s grades and SAT or ACT scores are low enough in the subject to warrant remediation. If your child has always detested reading and writing and has the grades and standardized tests scores to prove it, he will probably not be able to succeed in college level composition classes without strengthening his skills in the subject. You probably already know what subjects your child has always struggled in so remedial placement is rarely a surprise. Even if your child earned grades high enough to pass these classes in high school, you can guarantee that the college level classes will be much more challenging.

3.              It is far better in the long run that your child enroll in the remedial class, even if it does not offer credit, because the alternative is to enroll in the higher level class and struggle all semester just to fail or perform poorly in the class.

Having to pay for and take non-credit classes is not fun and can be disheartening to a student who feels ready for college, but it is important for students to accept their academic challenges and work to overcome them before making the leap into a high stakes college level class. In addition, most non-credit classes are graded as pass/fail and grades in these classes are not calculated in the student’s GPA. Whereas, a student who enrolls in a regular college level class and fails it will have the grade permanently etched on his transcript. 

The Senior Summer

The senior summer is when the train slowly starts to leave the station. Your child is pulling away from you and family life in general in preparation for the day he leaves “for real”. Just like a train, the process starts slowly with a great deal of caution and preparation, but the momentum increases with each passing day until you and your child realize it can’t stop.

I suggest planning a 20-30 minute chat each week in which you review mail, emails, and other documents sent from the college and take action on them. If nothing has arrived that week, have a brief talk about any of the topics listed on the checklist below. 

Paperwork from the college

Usually colleges send, or have online, checklists for new freshmen. These are often set up on a timeline that you can use to plan these discussions and get organized. By tackling these on a weekly basis, you are also showing your child how to prioritize, break down a long list of responsibilities into easily accomplished tasks, and avoid procrastination by working steadily toward a goal.

A typical senior summer checklist: In addition to talking with your child about these important items, it is helpful to remind him that if he has not received some type of confirmation of completing the tasks, he may not have completed them.

• Receive financial aid award letter and accept or reject awards - This is actually done online by the student when he logs onto his account at: http://fafsa.ed.gov, and after he receives word via email that his FAFSA has been processed.
• Schedule a date for orientation and enrollment – Your child won’t be a college student at all without taking these steps that usually occur together during freshman orientation. Make sure he’s signed up for an orientation and enrollment program and has received a confirmation of the program’s date(s)
• Placement exams – Are often administered as part of orientation and enrollment, but your child should check to confirm this and sign up for testing if required. Some colleges will not let students enroll without placement exam scores.
• Complete scholarship applications – This is an ongoing process, and many colleges use the student’s completed FAFSA in conjunction with a separate scholarship application to award scholarships. Scholarships are good!
• Residence hall applications, contracts, and deposits – Unless your child is commuting, he will need a place to live on or near campus. Many colleges require students to live on campus during their first year. Make sure your child has completed the application for housing, a contract if necessary, and has paid any required deposits to hold his spot in the residence halls.
• Proof of immunizations –  Some colleges will not allow students to attend class, or will cancel enrollment without proof of immunizations or a written refusal form.
• Meal plan selection and deposits – in addition to a place to live, your child will need to eat. Most meal plans require a contract, deposit, or partial payment before the semester begins.
• Greek letter organization registration – Is required of students who are interested in joining a social fraternity or sorority. The formal recruitment process usually has its own set of forms, fees and deadlines to follow. * Not all colleges will hold formal recruitment in the fall.

Save Money by Avoiding the Dorm Décor Hype

You don’t need to read one of the many news stories about spending on dorm décor to know that college-bound students and their parents mean big money for retailers. Just like the buying frenzy you had to manage when your children were newborns, retailers know that “Back to campus” is a spending frenzy based on emotions. Back to campus spending has become a $50 BILLION per year industry, and the average amount spent per student to stock and decorate even the smallest of rooms is slightly more than $900.00. In my opinion that’s way too much, and there are a number of ways students and parents can avoid spending hundreds or thousands on back to campus costs.

1. Choose a traditional residence hall if the student is living on campus. This is THE MOST EFFECTIVE way to save money throughout the year because students who live in a traditional hall (shared room with a communal bathroom and lounge/kitchenette down the hall) only have to stock and decorate one, small room.  If your student chooses a suite or apartment, not only do they usually cost much more to rent per semester, the student is responsible for stocking their own living room, and kitchen, and is usually also responsible for cleaning and stocking their own bathroom.
2. Know what is included in the cost of the room. Most rooms are already furnished by the university and include things like built-in desk lamps, curtains or blinds, mirrors, shelves etc. Also consider what items are available for students to use. Each floor or hall usually has a communal kitchenette or at least a refrigerator and microwave, and many halls allow students to check out vacuums, tools, and other useful items. Avoid the temptation to buy things that are already provided for the student.
3. Separate needs from wants. In reality, the only thing that most students NEED to purchase is a set of sheets for their bed, assuming that it is a different size from the bed they have a home. They probably have everything else they will need, or can assemble their list of needs from things you already have in your home. Granted, it is nice to have storage bins to move and store items or maybe an area rug to cover a tile floor, but these things are not required and even if you do choose to purchase them, they are low cost items that can be used for all four years and beyond. NOTE: chose a dark-colored area rug.
4. Borrow it. This is actually a fun experiment for social media. Let’s say your college-bound student has a short list of items they still want for their dorm room; coffee pot, posters, area rugs, storage bins, step stool – whatever. Send the list out on social media to family and friends and watch these things flood in. There are probably a number of people who have exactly what you’re looking for and are willing to loan or simply give these things to your student.
5. Remember this fact. This is a temporary home in which your student will most likely just sleep and change clothes. Studying, socializing, and eating will usually take place elsewhere.

http://www.businessinsider.com/average-spending-on-dorm-decor-skyrockets-2012-9

Top Five Things to Consider Before You Borrow Student or PLUS Loans

By this time of the year most new college freshmen and their parents have received their financial aid award letter or student aid report. If you’ve saved for college since your child’s birth, earn enough to pay cash for college expenses, or your college student won a number of scholarship, you probably don’t need to borrow money to help pay for college. But, if your child is among the approximately 2/3 of college students who DO borrow to pay for college there are five things you and your student MUST consider before you accept these loans.

1. Only borrow what is NEEDED. Some students only need to bridge a $1,000.00 gap between what they already have in the bank and what they will need to pay for college, but most students will receive an offer of much more than that in loans. Only borrow the minimum amount needed.
2. Always exhaust other sources of income and “free” money first. If your child qualified for federal work-study, they should work at least enough to earn what they qualified for. Even students who do not qualify for work-study can work part-time to help fund their education. Working only eight hours per week at minimum wage is enough to bridge a $1574.00 gap in funding over two, 16-week semesters. Students can also continue to apply for all possible scholarships because even a few small scholarships can make the difference between graduating debt free or not.
3. Do not borrow to pay for lifestyle expenses. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen students and parents borrowing thousands each year (currently at 4.66% to 7.21% interest or more) to pay for what are considered lifestyle expenses. These include any unnecessary expenses such as driving a car when other transportation is available, choosing a residence hall, apartment, or meal plan that costs more than the bare minimum, joining a Greek letter organization that the student can’t afford, and traveling for leisure or even study abroad that is not required for the student’s degree completion.
4. Avoid private student loans. Almost any financial aid office at any college will advise you to only borrow federal student loans, then if absolutely necessary, federal PLUS loans. Private loans are almost always a bad choice to finance a college education because the borrower does not have the various repayment options available from federal loans. If you reach the point where they are the only option, the student needs to seriously re-evaluate his or her choice of college and either take a gap year to earn more money, attend college part-time, or seek out a less expensive college. Chances are good that there is a less expensive alternative within commuting distance.
5. Use one of the many free, online student loan calculators to estimate future monthly payments. http://www.finaid.org/calculators/loanpayments.phtml  All loans will have to be paid back with interest, so students and parents can use these calculators to estimate what their payments will be and for how long. Pay close attention to the estimated salary needed to pay off the loan, and understand the total amount of interest paid on these loans. Students also need to be realistic when estimating their future salary. They can research average starting salaries at http://www.bls.gov/ooh/ , but keep in mind these are average salaries.

What to Expect During Freshman Orientation and Enrollment: Part 2

Campus involvement opportunities - Orientation programs often invite a number of people to talk with your student about campus involvement. Sometimes these sessions take the form of an activities showcase where a broad range of campus groups set up tables or displays that allow current members of these groups to interact with you and your child or pass out information about their organization. Other times a few offices will talk specifically about the multitude of ways to get involved and then show students how to find clubs to join and what to expect from those clubs.  Either way the goal is the same. To let new students know that college is more than just class time, and being happy and healthy on campus means being involved outside of class.

Safety and emergency information -This is one of the sessions that is often held jointly with parents and students. We know that you are concerned about your child’s safety and even if your child doesn’t tell you, he is too, even if its just because he doesn’t want you to freak out. Campus Safety is vital to the academic mission of the university, because it is extremely difficult to learn in an environment in which you don’t feel safe.

Campus police or security will often give students details about how to stay safe on campus and what to do in an emergency. Advice like locking doors, being aware of one’s surroundings, and securing property are all common tips provided by campus police, and it’s important for students to realize that their actions can play a major role in their own safety. Having this session with parents and students together assures you that your child has received this information as well.

Enrollment - The vast majority of summer orientation programs also include the student’s enrollment in his first semester of classes. These enrollment sessions are usually held for the students alone so they can sit down with an adviser, counselor or peer mentor to select classes and plan a schedule. Keep in mind that a lot has changed since we were in college and had to stand in line for hours to get a schedule that was virtually etched in stone when we left the registrar’s office.  Today, students can easily change class schedules online. This freedom is both a blessing and a curse.

Having the flexibility to change one’s schedule almost daily until classes start is very convenient, but please remind your child that just because he can change his schedule, doesn’t mean that he should.  Students have been known to accidentally enroll in senior or graduate level classes because the names of the classes were similar to the ones in which they were enrolled.  When this happens it is not uncommon for the class to be automatically dropped from the schedule, leaving the student short on classes and credit hours.

Advisers usually recommend that students can change sections or times of classes as long as they enroll in the same classes they had enrolled in during orientation. So, a student may freely change from the 8:30am section of English Composition I into the 9:30am section of English Composition I, but should avoid changing from English Composition I into World Literature I even though they are both introductory level English classes.  Once he gets into the swing of college there will be plenty of time to explore classes and take more diverse coursework, but for now, it’s best to leave well enough alone. 

* Suggest that your child enroll in early classes at least three days per week, or at least wake up as early as possible. Taking classes from 9:00am or earlier each day means that students aren’t sleeping through half of their days.  They will still stay up late, but early risers tend to have better time management skills and more time during the day for classes, study, work and other activities.

If, at the end of orientation, you still have questions or if once you return home and have a chance to process all the information you received, you still have questions, don’t hesitate to call the appropriate office or the general number for the orientation or parent relations office. We are used to fielding calls and emails about just about anything and can find the appropriate person to answer your questions. 

What to Expect During Freshman Orientation and Enrollment: Part 1

Summers are some of the busiest times on college campuses. This is the season when we welcome thousands of new students to campus for orientation and enrollments session. Most colleges and universities hold parents' orientation sessions along with sessions for students. Of course orientation sessions will vary slightly from school to school, but here are some common things to expect from orientation. 

Information sessions - These are held by various offices or departments on campus and are meant to introduce you and your student to the resources and services that these departments offer. For example, the university health clinic representative may tell you that they offer pharmacy services for less that your current pharmacy co-pay or the parking enforcement office may offer ways for parents to get free on-campus parking in certain lots when you visit.  There are often so many services available that students and parents don’t utilize because they missed hearing about them in orientation, or didn’t read through the handbooks or online guides. Don’t let this happen to you. Attend all the session you can, keep the handbooks you receive, and become familiar with the college’s website search feature.

Tours - Even if you participated in campus tours when your child was choosing a college, they take on a new feel as you realize that this place will be your child’s new home within a month or two. Tours during orientation are usually more specific and highlight the day-to-day routine of a typical student.

Instead of showing off the new labs or the remodeled residence hall, orientation tour guides may be able to show the student the exact buildings, dorm rooms, and classrooms they will be in on a regular basis. Chances are that your child, being a freshman, will not be able to live in the deluxe new residence halls or use the new labs that mostly juniors and seniors will access.

Some students are disappointed that they did not get their first choice residence hall or that they will be living farther away from the cafeteria than they originally thought. Remind him that he will be there for four years and by the end of his freshman year he will know where almost everything is and where he wants to live the following year.

Explanation of costs, bills and due dates - Even though the responsibility for paying tuition, fees and other expenses is technically your student’s we understand that it is virtually impossible for an 18-year-old pay for college entirely by himself. Even students who have multiple scholarships and part time jobs will need help from you once in a while, so while we may emphasize that the bills will be sent to your child, we will also tell you everything you need to know to make sure he or she doesn’t miss a deadline or end up without a meal plan due to an unpaid bill.

Celebrate 529 Day!

Today is 5/29, so it's a great day to investigate your state's 529 college savings plan. An excellent place to start is the free webinar being held today at the link below.  Like I always say, it's never too late to start saving for college. Even parents of current college sophomores or juniors will benefit from saving through a 529 because there are usually state tax benefits for funds saved in these accounts. 

Making Summer Count

Even if your child doesn't have a “dream job”, study abroad classes, or a summer internship there are still a number of ways to make this summer an educational experience.

• Work! - Any summer job will offer lessons in the “Real World”. Some students don’t see the value in a summer of working in food service, retail, or landscaping but all of these jobs require hard, task-oriented work, and the ability to manage time and handle people in sometimes difficult situations. I've hired many people in my life and the ones who were the best employees started out working in the most tedious of jobs. The way I see it; if you can wait tables, mow lawns, or deal with angry customers all day, you will be a conscientious employee who won't be afraid to work.

• Travel – The location doesn't have to be distant or exotic for learning to take place. Even seeking out a new adventure in a neighboring state can offer learning experiences.  As we age, travel becomes more and more about new experiences and learning opportunities. Even weekend getaways to local areas of interest or historical sites can enhance education and broaden students' world views.

• Independent study - Studying for anything from the MCAT to individual study in a foreign language or a non-credit, online class will broaden horizons and keep students’ intellectual muscles strong. Students who are interested in research can spend their summers working on a preliminary literature review for their future thesis or senior project. Believe it or not, some students even read for pleasure during the summer so they can easily answer the question “What was the last good book you read?”

• Volunteering – So, your child didn't find his dream internship this summer- don’t fret. There may be opportunities for similar experiences through volunteer work or job shadowing with a relative or family friend in the student’s field of study. Whatever volunteer experiences your child takes part in during the summer, be sure they record the hours worked and ask for a letter confirming the hours or a letter of reference from the volunteer supervisor. 

Surviving Low Final Exam Grades

Students who earn a low final exam grade can be deeply disappointed, but you can help them gain perspective by remembering some of these tips:

• If your child calls about failing a final exam, listen and let him or her express their disappointment. Unless they specifically ask your advice, just be their “shoulder to cry on” and let them know you’re still proud of them for trying hard and you are willing to help them work out a plan to salvage a low GPA after final exams week.
• Remind them at the they will take between 40 to 50 classes just to earn an undergraduate degree, so one low final exam grade, in one class, will not damage their entire academic career as much as they think.
• Ask if the class can be repeated during the summer. If so, the student may consider repeating the class to raise the grade. Some colleges and universities allow students’ grades in repeated classes to replace the original grade in the GPA calculation. A review of the institution’s grading or “academic forgiveness” policies can shed light on whether or not your child’s college has such a policy.
• Offer a reality check. Students on a semester term have 16 weeks to earn the grade they want in the class, so trying to make an A on a final exam for a class in which the student has a D average simply isn’t realistic. This is not to imply that the student should not bother to study, but sometimes students need a reality check that only a parent can give.
• Ask if they need a certain grade in the class to graduate? If not, it is wise to simply accept the grade and not worry about repeating the class. Students are often worried about not having a 3.0 or higher GPA to post on their resume, but many students post their “major GPA”, or the GPA in the classes taken only for the major requirements, on their resume too. This allows them to essentially explain an F or D in a non-major related class that may have no bearing on their future employability or graduate school admission.
• Stay positive even when your child is not. During final exams it is important for your child to focus on the exams as they come and not worry about disappointment or criticism from parents. I firmly believe that constructive criticism is necessary, but expressing your disappointment or critiquing your child during final exams is counter-productive. Be positive and supportive now, and worry about expressing your concerns or disappointment later. After final grades for all their classes are posted, your child can evaluate what worked and what did not in terms of studying, prioritizing projects, and time management, and can develop a plan to improve their grades in the future. 

Packing Up and Moving Out After Final Exams

Most college students are expected to moving out of residence halls, campus apartments and Greek houses immediately or shortly after their last final exams. Since it would be almost impossible for RAs or other student housing staff to check residents out of rooms all on one day, most universities encourage students to move throughout finals week. But, students don’t have to wait until finals week to start cleaning and packing. In fact, accomplishing small “moving out” tasks before finals week is ideal because it leaves students with one less task to worry about during exam week.

Students will find it easier to move, clean, and also study for exams if they take some time now to clean and pack before final exams. Suggest that your child pack off-season or other non-essential clothing and bedding now. This is also a great time to de-clutter and create an environment that is more conducive to study. Here are some tips to share with your student about packing up and moving out.

Essential items: Packing tape, boxes (try to find boxes headed toward the recycling bin), large heavy-duty or “contractor” trash bags, paper or material in which to wrap fragile items.

• Almost all colleges and universities have stacks of cardboard boxes that are broken down and waiting to be recycled. Students can usually ask food service employees or managers to point them toward where these boxes are stored so they can use them for moving.
• Large trash bags are great for packing and moving coats, bedding, and other bulky items that will not fit into boxes.
• Consider packing and stacking items that will not be needed during finals week. Most students will only need; a week’s-worth of clothing, books, class notes, computers and other exam essentials, and enough food/snacks for finals week.
• Wrapping fragile items in bedding or clothing instead of paper will save paper and hassle during packing and unpacking.
• Try to pack like items together. Some items, like alarm clocks or summer clothing, will need to be unpacked and used at home while others, like kitchen items used only at college, can stay packed in their box until the next academic year. Try to keep these items together.
• Try to move or ship items home before finals week begins. Less clutter means fewer distractions while studying. If your child attends college close to home, consider making a campus visit to move items the weekend before exams. If he’s far from home, he may consider packing and shipping boxes instead.