The Senior Summer

The Senior Summer

The summer between your child’s senior year of high school and freshman year of college is a carnival ride; exhilarating, scary, and nauseating. You swing wildly between sadness over “losing” your child to college on one day, and then the next day wishing he would just get out of the house! The next few months with test your patience and sense of humor, but throughout these 10 to 12 weeks rest assured that millions of other families have gone through the same rites of passage and have come out relatively unscathed.

“But, he’s driving me absolutely crazy!”

Believe it or not, that’s a very good sign.  In fact, if your college bound-child is not making you crazy and pushing every button you have, I would be concerned because that’s what supposed to happen. If our “near adult” children didn’t drive us to push them out of the house they’d never leave; never strike out on their own, get an education, a job, find a spouse and then we’d never have a shot at grandkids. And, according to all reports, grandkids are awesome!

Putting up with your child’s current mood swings and know-it-all attitude is demanding, and it will take all your will to not alienate him in the final weeks before he leaves, but please be patient with him and yourself and know that this behavior is not only normal, it’s essential for his personal development. You may have to bite your tongue more than you let it fly, but you’re the adult with all the life experience, you’ll manage.

You may assume that since approximately two million freshmen enroll in college each fall that this whole transition would be easy, it’s not. Just like getting married, moving to a new town, buying a home or having a baby, this is a major life change not just for your child, but also for everyone in the family. Yes, younger siblings will have bizarre mood swings right along with you and your college bound child. Even the family dog will wonder why everyone is so tense and may wander in confused circles for a least a while.

While you could easily succumb to the malaise that an impending bittersweet departures always bring about, I suggest that you take some time to plan a course of action that will help you and your child over the next few months and well into the academic year. This summer is a good time to catch up on some basic survival skills with your child, and make sure that if your daughter has never changed a tire, she learns how, and if your son still hasn’t grasped the basics of wash, dry, and fold, he also learns that skill.  A lot of people ask me why its so important that college students learn such basic skills like these, after all, in any given college town there are roadside assistance services and laundry services widely available for a small fee.

While I agree that is true, learning these skills isn’t really about changing tires and doing laundry. Although it will save thousands of dollars in the long run, it’s impossible to put a dollar figure on self-reliance. If young people don’t learn that they really can do these things for themselves, they will simply assume that they can’t and will always be at the mercy of those who can. Once students start taking care of small tasks for themselves, they soon learn that there are a lot of things worth trying just to be able to say. “Yes, I can do that!”

Making Summer Count

Making Summer Count

Summer is usually a time to relax, no one will argue about that, but it's important for students to make sure that they continue learning while they are on summer vacation. If your child is fortunate enough to have classes, a job or internship that supports his or her educational goals that is great, but if not, here are a few more things they can do to make summer more meaningful. 

Volunteering - There are always plenty of opportunities to learn new skills and meet new people through volunteering. Whether they volunteer on campus or in their hometowns, students should be sure to carefully record their volunteer activity. Doing so will give them easy access to where and when they volunteered when it comes time to update their resumes.

Travel - Whether it's a family vacation or independent travel, as we age, travel becomes more and more about new experiences and learning opportunities. Even weekend getaways to local areas of interest or historical sites can enhance education and broaden students' world views.

Online or independent learning- Not all learning has to be for credit. Although it makes sense for students to take classes required for their degrees, if they can't fit one into their schedule or budget, they may try their hand at free, non-credit classes in either their field of study or another area of interest such as foreign language. Many public libraries offer free classes as well or free access to coding and language learning sites.

Getting fit- If your child gained the Freshman (or Sophomore) 15, summer is a great time to not only get back in shape, but to establish a workout routine that can be maintained once he or she returns to campus. Even 30 minutes of walking or other cardio activity alternated with an equal amount strength and toning can make a huge difference. As they plan their workouts, they should think about how they can maintain the activity when they return to campus in the fall. By now, most students know their fall class schedule and can keep it in mind as they plan their daily workouts, so when they return to campus, they can keep the same routine with little interruption.