Same Kid, New Opinions

Most students return home from the first semester of college with new ideas and opinions and sometimes these opinions clash with parents’ values or beliefs. It is common for someone who has spent the past four months in a new environment with new people to start ”trying out” and exploring new ideas and opinions. This can take the form of bringing up dinner time topics in which the student has never before had an interest, or arguing passionately about a political or social cause that is completely new or out of character. While this can often ruffle parent’s feathers or even scare them, it is not only common, but it’s an essential part of a college student’s personal development.

Students will find that people they meet in college will question the values and beliefs they were raised to follow and that is a good thing. If a student’s values are never challenged, they will never know for sure where they stand on certain issues and will not be able to articulate why they hold some beliefs and not others. At some point, we all have to examine or beliefs about the world and ourselves and decide where we stand on certain issues.

Parents can help their children through these times of inquiry by being ready and willing to listen to their child talk through their uncertainty. Asking questions and avoiding criticism or judgment will help parents and students discuss topics without anger or hurt feelings. Also remember that in a world full of opinions and punditry, there’s nothing wrong with saying. “I don’t know” or “I’m not sure” about a topic. It can be a relief for a student to hear that even mom and dad aren’t sure about some topics and that ambiguity exists and can be discussed too.

While your student talks, take the opportunity to listen to the message underneath what they are saying. It is usually that they are having new experiences and are being challenged to make decisions they haven’t had to make before. The result is sometimes fear, distress, or excitement, but these challenges always lead to young people who’ve grown intellectually and emotionally, and can think critically and articulate their thoughts and feelings.

The First Semester Grade Drop

Unfortunately, holiday cheer can be dampened when first semester grades arrive. If you are unpleasantly surprised by what you see on your student’s first grade report from college, you’re not alone. Many students see a drop of a letter grade or more between the grades they saw in high school and what they earned in their first semester of college. There are a few common reasons for this:

A 4.0, or “perfect”, GPA in high school is fairly common these days.  When our generation attended high school there may have been one or two students who were able to maintain a perfect GPA and each high school probably only had one valedictorian.  This is no longer the case, and many students from a variety of high schools have never made anything below an A in any class.  This is simply a result of grade inflation* in high school and unfortunately it can do a lot of harm to a student’s psyche when they arrive at college and realize they are one of many “perfect” students vying for top grades.

There’s more to the first semester of college than a GPA. In addition to attending 15-18 credit hours worth of class each week, your child has also had to learn how to navigate an entirely new world.  Everything from how and where they live, shower, eat, and socialize is completely new and learning the ins and outs of college life is emotionally and intellectually draining. Even students who earned a 2.0 GPA have actually learned a great deal from college in their first semester.

College is harder than high school. When I relay this fact to students most of them give me the “Duh, no kidding” look, but some are surprised. They think that they can employ the same strategies they used in high school and earn the same grades, but that usually doesn’t work. Students are in college classrooms less than half of the time they were in high school classrooms and they have to do much of their reading, writing, and learning on their own or in student groups. In addition, college classes require that students think through problems critically and develop their own solutions based on research, their own or someone else’s. In other words, in addition to simply answering questions, they have to explain why they answered in that way and how they came to their conclusions. This is the mental equivalent of heavy lifting and it takes time for students to get used to flexing their intellectual muscles.

If your child is disappointed by his grades in the first semester, don’t worry. Most students’ grades rebound during the next semester after they adjust their study and time management habits. If your child needs help with these issues, a visit to a study skills center, academic counselor, or attending a workshop on these topics can give him the information, skills, and motivation he needs to improve his grades in future semesters.

* http://www.act.org/research/policymakers/pdf/issues.pdf

http://research.collegeboard.org/sites/default/files/publications/2012/7/researchreport-2011-2-investigating-grade-inflation-non-equivalence.pdf

 

Get "Interview Ready" Over Winter Break

Winter break is a great time to help your student get interview ready. Many colleges hold their summer job and internship fairs in January and February, so winter break is a great time to make sure your child has everything he needs to make a good impression. 

Suggest that he:

• Edit his resume to adjust his GPA and add work experiences and activities from the fall semester.
• Scrub his social media and online profiles for any questionable material
• Purchase plenty of resume paper for job fairs, and plenty of simple thank you notes for after the interview. Some students also print business cards that contain their contact information and a brief profile.
• Evaluate his interview wardrobe and purchase any additional items. If he’s starting from square one, he can’t go wrong with a dark suit, white or off-white shirt, and a couple of conservative ties and pocket squares.
• Make sure he also has a belt, a nice pair of dress shoes, and a few pair of dress socks.
• Some interviews and company interest sessions will require business casual clothing such as khakis, a white, off-white, or pastel button down, or a polo style pullover shirt.
• Women should err on the side of caution and choose a dark suit (make sure the skirt is no higher than an inch above the kneecap when standing), a simple colored blouse, and conservative jewelry. Heels should be comfortable and 2 inches high or less, and remember that appropriate undergarments are an essential part of any outfit.
• Business casual for young women may include anything from slacks and a cardigan to a simple sheath dress. When in doubt, browse Pinterest for some ideas and choose conservative over flashy.
• More essentials include: A good haircut or money to get one, a manicure set, a shiny smile, and some interview coaching from the career services staff on campus.

 

Blue Books and Scantrons: Final Exam Essentials

If your child is taking final exams soon he’ll probably be studying a lot, but there’s one way he can prepare for exams that doesn’t involve studying at all. It involves purchasing the correct Blue Book or Scantron forms. No matter how techno savvy college students are these days some things never seem to change, and most students will still take exams using pencil, or pen, and paper.

Blue Books – Are exactly what the name implies.  These slim paper booklets with the traditional blue covers, approved at most colleges and universities for essay and short answer exams, range in size from 8.5 x 7 inches to 8.5 x 11 inches and usually contain 4-12 sheet of wide ruled paper. Some professors will allow students to choose their size and number of pages while others specify a certain size.

You may think it’s easy for students to cheat using Blue Books since they can hide notes within the pages of the book, but usually students will pass in their blank books at the beginning of the exam and the professor will shuffle and redistribute them randomly to all members of the class.

* A Green Book also exists and is just a recycled, earth friendly version of the Blue Book.
 

 

Scantrons – Remember all those “fill-in-the-bubble” exams and standardized tests you took in K-12? Well, if you remember what those test’s answer sheets looked like you have a good idea of what a Scantron form looks like. There are dozens of varieties of these forms from narrow, 3.5 x 8.5 inch, 30 answer forms, to 8.5 x 11 inch double-sided, 240 answer forms. Whatever size they are, they all can be electronically scanned and scored in the same way and are used for multiple choice and true false question exams.

Whatever your student needs for his exams, it’s always a good idea for him to buy in advance and buy extras as well. These forms can always be purchased at campus books stores, as well as some big box stores in college towns, and they are also often distributed for free by academic advising offices, tutoring centers or the campus library.

Tips for Care Packages During Finals Week

Finals week is a popular time for parents to send care packages to students.  There are a number of online merchants who will send basic care packages to your student and a Google search will turn up dozens of them offering various packages in various price ranges. Most students, however, prefer the personal touch and sending a care package is not difficult if you follow these tips.

1. If you send baked goods, try to send soft items such as unfrosted cakes or cupcakes, muffins, brownies, or bar cookies. 
2. If you are sending a cake, brownies/ bars, cupcakes or muffins, simply bake it in the pan (the recyclable aluminum or non-stick varieties work well and come with a cover) and send the entire pan uncut to preserve freshness. This method also works well with rice crispy treats or other bars that do not require refrigeration. *Cookies that are crisp will turn into crumbs during shipment.
3. Send a birthday or special occasion cake uncut with packaged frosting, sprinkles and candles, if they are allowed. Include a set of plates, napkins and forks so your child can have a party without having to bake.
4. I'm also a fan of the gingerbread house kits available in stores during the holidays. No, it's not like a homemade gingerbread house, but it's a fun and yummy distraction from the stress of studying for final exams.
5. Send your child a specialty item from your hometown or something else he can’t get on campus. You may also consider sending items that are expensive for him to purchase himself. Even “K-cups” can add up if he uses more than one or two per day.
6. Send a pizza party from the internet. Most national pizza delivery chains (think Pizza Hut etc) and many local ones, offer online ordering of pizzas, snacks and drinks. Average cost for a large pizza, wings, and drinks for a party of 4-6 is $40.00 plus tip. Be sure to make arrangements with your child in advance so he knows when the party will arrive and can invite his friends.
7. * Commuting students love care packages too. A gift basket of favorite snacks or gift cards to shops or restaurants on or near campus left outside your commuting student’s bedroom door says, “I love you” and is just as comforting to a student living at home too! the gift cards will be welcome while he's studying on campus instead of at home.

What to Expect This Thanksgiving Break

Thanksgiving break may very well be the first time your child will come home this semester and there are some universal experiences that all college parents face when their child returns home from college for the first time.

1. Most students will sleep a lot when they get home.  Not only are they tired from traveling, but they are probably mentally exhausted from being “on” all semester. The first semester of college is mentally, emotionally, and physically draining, so let them sleep.

2. Once your child arises from a 10 hour nap, he will probably want to eat and see his hometown friends. This can be painful for parents since you’ve been waiting for months to see your child, but all he wants to do is go out with other people. You can approach this from two angles; you can insist that he stay at home for the first evening and see his friends later, or you can let him go out with his buddies and plan to see him during the rest of the break. There’s no correct way to handle this, but the one thing that is essential is communication. Express your expectations for “family time” before he returns so everyone knows what to expect.

3. Go ahead and coddle during the break. While it’s crucial that students learn to care entirely for themselves while they’re at college, when your child is home for break a little spoiling won’t hurt. If you want to make a big breakfast, do it. If you want to do all her laundry, go for it, but don’t do these things out of a sense of guilt or duty. Just do them from a position of love and caring, and by all means expect a “thank you” from your child!

4. Thanksgiving break is too short. By the time your child sleeps for a day, visits with friends for another, helps out with a few household or yard chores, then sleeps away another day, the break is over and he’s gone again. Rest assured that even though this visit is way too short, you’ve probably had just enough time together. A four to six week winter break will arrive within about three weeks and for some families, that gets a little too long!

The College Completion Study We've All Been Waiting For

To say that I was thrilled to read the preview of the upcoming Second College Completion Study (I’m going to call this the SCCS) is an understatement. I’ve been loosely following the progress of this study since I first learned about it around 2011. In short, the study hopes to complete and “clean up” data on 4 and 6 year college completion rates.

Until the National Clearinghouse Student Research Center published its first report on college completion last year, the best data we had was from the Integrated Postsecondary Education Data System (IPEDS), which as I mention in earlier posts doesn’t offer a complete picture of 4 to 6 year college completion rates since it only counts first time, full time, students who enroll in the fall semester each year and do not transfer or stop out.

This year’s SCCS will include all students across 95% of institutions even if they enrolled part time, transferred, or started in the spring semester instead of the fall. It also tracked dual enrollment students; these are usually high school students who enroll concurrently in college to get a head start on credit hours. These students were left out of last year’s study and I am excited to see how the inclusion of the 374,095 dual enrollment students changes the results. Obviously, if this group of students has the motivation, socio-economic advantages, and parental support to start college level classes while still enrolled in high school, these 374,095 students should make a profound impact on completion rates.

The study will be available next month, so I’ll keep you posted!

SCCS - http://nscresearchcenter.org/

IPEDS –  http://nces.ed.gov/ipeds/

How Much Time Should My Child Spend Studying?

The general rule espoused by most colleges is that students should expect to spend two to three hours outside of class to prepare for each hour spent in class. Therefore, a student enrolled in 15 credit hours should expect to spend 30 to 45 additional hours completing assignments, reading, studying and working on papers outside of class. Of course this isn’t always the case for every class and students may spend only one or two hours outside of class for one course and four hours for another. In fact, the most recent report published by the National Survey of Student Engagement (NSSE) found that most students actually spent much less time preparing for class.

“Results from 2013 show that in a typical week, first-year students averaged 14 hours and seniors averaged 15 hours preparing for class (studying, reading, writing, doing homework or lab work, etc.).”

http://nsse.iub.edu/NSSE_2013_Results/index.cfm

Any way they slice it though, students should consider college to be their full time job and expect to spend between 45-60 hours each week in class, and preparing for class. My experience with students indicates that those who spend this amount of time and effort will thrive instead of struggle.

Why Your Child Should Continue to Apply for Scholarships

Many times students and parents will ask the best ways to win scholarships. While there are obvious ways to improve your chances of winning scholarships like earning high grades, being involved on campus, and submitting excellent applications (see the post about scholarship application advice) there are several things your child needs to remember while applying.

1. No scholarship is too small. Some students simply don’t apply for small scholarships of $100.00 to $500.00 because they only see the difference between $100.00 and their $9,000.00 tuition and fees bill. But, instead of just looking at the difference, look at what $100.00 is worth. When I see $100.00, I see some books, a couple of tanks of gas, a few weeks of groceries, and some extra cash for an emergency.
2. Always do the math. If your child is working part time to finance college, how many hours would it take him to earn $500.00 after taxes? Most college students earn minimum wage or pretty close to it. After taxes they clear about $6.10 per hour, so it would take the average student almost 82 hours to bring home $500.00. That’s a month of working 20 hours per week. Even if your child spends only two hours per week during the academic year completing and submitting scholarship applications and only wins $500.00, he still comes out ahead.
3. Scholarships are free money, but don’t treat them that way. Some students win big scholarships and think they can promptly quit their part time job, or spend the money on non-educational expenses. These are bad ideas.

• Scholarships are intended to help students afford college so the funds should always go either directly to the college or to pay for college related expenses.

• Unless the student is in his senior year and expects to graduate on time and not pursue graduate education, the money should be saved in a separate account for college related expenses. Otherwise, the student may run out of money before he finishes college.
• Scholarships are extra, unexpected funds and therefore should not be relied upon as a steady stream of financial support. Many students have lost scholarships in their junior or senior year due to low grades, missed deadlines, or changing their major to one not supported by the scholarship fund.

Health and Property Insurance

Does he need personal property insurance?

This is another one of those “grown-up” issues that students will need to be aware of before they head to campus. It is estimated that students bring between $5,000.00 to $10,000.00 worth of personal property with them to campus and when you combine all those easily carried valuables with the laid-back, open atmosphere on most college campuses, you have a recipe for property loss. In fact, larceny is the most reported crime on most college campuses. With this in mind, insurance is a must, but what kind?

Most homeowner’s policies will cover students’ valuables if they are living on campus and still list the family’s home address as their permanent address.  Even so, it is always a good idea to confirm your coverage and its limitations with your insurance agent before your child leaves for college. Also keep in mind that if your child makes claims against your homeowner’s policy, it could negatively affect your rate and ability to maintain coverage.

Another option is renter’s or student insurance. Renter’s or student insurance can cover a specific amount or just specific items and is usually very affordable. It will also not adversely affect your homeowner’s policy of your child makes a claim. Most major insurance companies offer renter’s insurance so speak to your current agent for the best rate.

What about health insurance

If there was ever a hot-button issue in the United States today, this is it. The cost of healthcare and insurance is staggering and although healthcare and coverage is usually the last thing on your student’s mind it is essential that you discuss the ins and outs of your policy with your child.  Imagine your dismay and frustration when you discover that your child went to an out-of network emergency room or clinic for a broken wrist when an in-network hospital was just a few more miles down the road.  The difference in the bills could well be in the thousands so it is important to discuss your policy with your child and determine where the in-network facilities are located near campus. The last thing either of you want is to pay for out-of-network medical bills instead of tuition.

Most medium to large campuses have their own health service centers or walk-in clinics on campus, and many times campus clinics are cheaper for certain services due to grants and subsidies. But, it is still a good idea to compare costs for routine visits, physicals, and prescriptions before he starts college.

A Frequently Asked Question from College Parents

Even though this is a question from the parent of a college junior, I thought it was relevant enough to share with freshman parents and definitely something to remember as your child goes through college.

Q: My daughter has run out of money in her junior year. Should she take out a loan for her senior year or try to earn more money? She really wanted to graduate debt free.

A: This is a tough one and will require a lot of evaluation and planning on our daughter’s part. If she wants to graduate without debt she can, but she will probably have to take two or three years to finish her “senior year” while she works at least full time. Before she makes her final decision though, she needs to evaluate the following:

1.     How much can she earn working full time?  Minimum wage in most parts of the country is still $7.25 per hour, which may or may not be enough for her to live on and also pay for school part time.

2.     If she already has a part time job and can become a full time employee with the same employer, will she get a raise or benefits package that will make it worth her while to switch to full time?

3.     If she can’t work full time with one employer, will she be able to work two part time jobs? Will they both offer steady, year-round employment?

4.     What will her full time job prospects be upon graduation? She will need to honestly evaluate how much she can expect to earn upon graduating by researching the recent starting salaries of other students with similar GPAs and experience, from her same college and degree program. From this information she can calculate if it will be worth it for her to take two or three years to graduate while missing out on those same years of full time earnings and benefits in her chosen field.

5.     If she’s a strong student in a proven lucrative major field of study, it may be better for her to take out a federal student loan for her final year and pay it off early upon finding her first job.

6.     She also needs to make sure that switching to part time status will not force her to take required course work out of sequence, or make her ineligible for any scholarships, grants, work-study, or insurance policies she now has.

Scholarship Application Advice: From someone who’s seen a lot of scholarship applications!

Honestly, nothing bugs me more than sloppy scholarship or award applications. Considering that the organization or donor is willing to hand you hundreds or thousands of dollars in free money you need to have enough regard for yourself and the committee to put forth your best effort, so here’s my super honest advice for students about submitting scholarship applications.

1.     Make sure your application is typed and in a legible font. Applications that are handwritten or in illegible fonts WILL stand out, and then they are usually shredded without any further consideration. If you are turning the application in on paper and not electronically, make sure that the application is neat and not creased or wrinkled. If the application must be submitted electronically, follow the submission instructions, or if there are no specific instructions, submit it as a PDF, with your name and the scholarship’s name included as part of the PDF’s name.

 2.     Make sure your application is complete, and follow the instructions to the letter. If it specifies that an official transcript be attached, then attach an official transcript. Not a copy, not an unofficial transcript, not a screen shot of one from your phone, but an official transcript.

 3.     Submit the application on time. I’m sure that everyone has legitimate excuses for why they miss deadlines, but as a scholarship administrator I’m more concerned with scoring the already huge stack of applications that were submitted on time.

 4.     Proofread your application, then have a professor, tutor, or a trusted friend proofread it, then proofread it again. Remember, we want to give you free money; the least you can do is proof your work.

 5.     Tell your story. Usually, the selection committee only has about 3-10 application pages to figure out who you are and why we should give you the award. Tell your story honestly and as thoroughly as possible. Don’t dismiss activities as unimportant because you think they’re not grand enough to impress us. We are just as impressed by students who volunteer to read to preschoolers as we are by those who write research grants.

I have scored numerous scholarships over the past two decades and I can tell you that the students who get scholarships are the ones who submit clean, completed applications, before the deadline, and who take the time to have their applications reviewed for errors. Students who put forth the extra 10% of effort to submit well-prepared applications are usually the ones who win the awards, and the best thing is, once you’ve completed a few scholarship applications, they get easier and easier to submit.

Students need to look at scholarship applications from the selection committee’s perspective. The committee is usually comprised of volunteers who are already extremely busy and each person on it only has a few sheets of paper in your application to decide whether or not to give you a $1,000.00 or more, so make a good impression!

 After you receive the scholarship send at brief thank you note or letter thanking the committee and giving us an update on how the scholarship will help you attain your educational goals. We do remember these letters and we may even score another one of your applications or remember you when we serve on another committee.