The Senior Summer

The Senior Summer

The summer between your child’s senior year of high school and freshman year of college is a carnival ride; exhilarating, scary, and nauseating. You swing wildly between sadness over “losing” your child to college on one day, and then the next day wishing he would just get out of the house! The next few months with test your patience and sense of humor, but throughout these 10 to 12 weeks rest assured that millions of other families have gone through the same rites of passage and have come out relatively unscathed.

“But, he’s driving me absolutely crazy!”

Believe it or not, that’s a very good sign.  In fact, if your college bound-child is not making you crazy and pushing every button you have, I would be concerned because that’s what supposed to happen. If our “near adult” children didn’t drive us to push them out of the house they’d never leave; never strike out on their own, get an education, a job, find a spouse and then we’d never have a shot at grandkids. And, according to all reports, grandkids are awesome!

Putting up with your child’s current mood swings and know-it-all attitude is demanding, and it will take all your will to not alienate him in the final weeks before he leaves, but please be patient with him and yourself and know that this behavior is not only normal, it’s essential for his personal development. You may have to bite your tongue more than you let it fly, but you’re the adult with all the life experience, you’ll manage.

You may assume that since approximately two million freshmen enroll in college each fall that this whole transition would be easy, it’s not. Just like getting married, moving to a new town, buying a home or having a baby, this is a major life change not just for your child, but also for everyone in the family. Yes, younger siblings will have bizarre mood swings right along with you and your college bound child. Even the family dog will wonder why everyone is so tense and may wander in confused circles for a least a while.

While you could easily succumb to the malaise that an impending bittersweet departures always bring about, I suggest that you take some time to plan a course of action that will help you and your child over the next few months and well into the academic year. This summer is a good time to catch up on some basic survival skills with your child, and make sure that if your daughter has never changed a tire, she learns how, and if your son still hasn’t grasped the basics of wash, dry, and fold, he also learns that skill.  A lot of people ask me why its so important that college students learn such basic skills like these, after all, in any given college town there are roadside assistance services and laundry services widely available for a small fee.

While I agree that is true, learning these skills isn’t really about changing tires and doing laundry. Although it will save thousands of dollars in the long run, it’s impossible to put a dollar figure on self-reliance. If young people don’t learn that they really can do these things for themselves, they will simply assume that they can’t and will always be at the mercy of those who can. Once students start taking care of small tasks for themselves, they soon learn that there are a lot of things worth trying just to be able to say. “Yes, I can do that!”

Making Summer Count

Making Summer Count

Summer is usually a time to relax, no one will argue about that, but it's important for students to make sure that they continue learning while they are on summer vacation. If your child is fortunate enough to have classes, a job or internship that supports his or her educational goals that is great, but if not, here are a few more things they can do to make summer more meaningful. 

Volunteering - There are always plenty of opportunities to learn new skills and meet new people through volunteering. Whether they volunteer on campus or in their hometowns, students should be sure to carefully record their volunteer activity. Doing so will give them easy access to where and when they volunteered when it comes time to update their resumes.

Travel - Whether it's a family vacation or independent travel, as we age, travel becomes more and more about new experiences and learning opportunities. Even weekend getaways to local areas of interest or historical sites can enhance education and broaden students' world views.

Online or independent learning- Not all learning has to be for credit. Although it makes sense for students to take classes required for their degrees, if they can't fit one into their schedule or budget, they may try their hand at free, non-credit classes in either their field of study or another area of interest such as foreign language. Many public libraries offer free classes as well or free access to coding and language learning sites.

Getting fit- If your child gained the Freshman (or Sophomore) 15, summer is a great time to not only get back in shape, but to establish a workout routine that can be maintained once he or she returns to campus. Even 30 minutes of walking or other cardio activity alternated with an equal amount strength and toning can make a huge difference. As they plan their workouts, they should think about how they can maintain the activity when they return to campus in the fall. By now, most students know their fall class schedule and can keep it in mind as they plan their daily workouts, so when they return to campus, they can keep the same routine with little interruption.

When your College Student Moves Back Home for the Summer

When college students return home for the summer family dynamics will shift once again. It's important to recognize that things will change and that the whole family will need some time to adjust. Just knowing that tension will occur and tempers may flare is half the battle.

By the time summer rolls around college students are used to their new independence and are probably expecting to maintain that independence at home. Of course, parents will see a child who is still a young adult and not quite as independent as he thinks he is.

There is room for compromise here. In most cases parents are willing to loosen curfews and chore requirements as long as their adult child checks in periodically at night and the chores are finished on time. College students will claim that they want to be treated like adults so remind them that adults will:

• Be respectful of themselves and their families

• Tell their loved ones where they will be, with whom, and for how long, and check in periodically

• Follow laws regarding alcohol and drugs

• Contribute their share to the family whether it be financially, helping with housework, yard work or errands

• Maintain their own possessions including clothing, electronics, their room and bathroom, vehicle etc.

• Be willing to compromise and calmly discuss problems and work out solution

Packing up and Moving Out

Most students are expected to moving out of residence halls, campus apartments and Greek houses immediately or shortly after their last final exam. But, students don't have to wait until after their exams to start cleaning and packing. In fact, accomplishing small "moving out" tasks before finals week is ideal because it leaves students with one less task to worry about during exam week.

Students will find it easier to move, clean, and also study for exams if they take some time now to clean and pack before final exams. Suggest that your child pack off-season or other non-essential clothing and bedding now. This is also a great time to clean, de-clutter, and create an environment that is more conducive to study. Here are some tips to share with your student about packing up and moving out.

• Essential items: Packing tape, boxes (try to find boxes headed toward the recycling bins on campus), large heavy-duty or "contractor" trash bags, paper or material in which to wrap fragile items.
• Move it, ship it, or store it? This is the first question to answer. Some students live too far away, or do not have the means of transportation needed to move each year. For these students it may be more practical to ship their possessions home, or simply store them during the summer.
• If moving by car, large contractor bags are great for packing and moving coats, bedding, and other bulky fabric items that will easier to pack this way than if they were in a large box. 
• Pack items that will not be needed during finals week. Most students will only need; a week's-worth of clothing, books, class notes, computers, and other exam essentials, and enough food for finals week.
• Wrapping fragile items in bedding or clothing instead of paper will save paper and hassle during packing and unpacking.
• Pack similar items together. Some items, like alarm clocks or summer clothing, will need to be unpacked and used during the summer while others, like kitchen items used only at college, can stay packed in their box until the next academic year. Try to pack these items together.
• Try to move or ship items home before finals week begins. Less clutter means fewer distractions while studying.
• If your student’s college is fairly close to your home, consider a campus visit to move items the weekend before exams. If it is too far for a weekend visit, your student may consider packing and shipping boxes instead. 

Mid-Term Grades

Not all colleges and universities post mid-term grades, but if your student’s does, now is a good time to ask them to review their mid-term grades with you. If grades are good, keep up the good work! If not, there are a few things to consider before you panic.

1. Most mid-term grades only reflect one or two grades on quizzes or papers and are typically lower than final grades. Some faculty will even list a grade of “I” or “Incomplete” because there have not been enough opportunities for students to earn a valid grade. The student should always check the syllabus or login to an online classroom site for the class to understand how their mid-term grade is actually being calculated. If this information is not posted in the syllabus or online, the student can always meet with the professor to find out how the grade was calculated. 
2. If the grade is low (a D or C) but not failing, now is an ideal time to start working with a tutor or increasing study hours to boost grades in the second half of the semester. Most freshmen employ the same study strategies they used in high school and these approaches are simply insufficient for college classes. Sometimes, students just need to spend some time with a tutor or academic counselor to learn more effective study techniques.
3. If your student feels like the grade is too low to raise, even with extra help or outside work, they need to set up an appointment with the professor or an adviser immediately to discuss ways to either salvage the grade in the class or drop the class to save their overall GPA. *NOTE- Some scholarships or grants require a specific GPA to maintain the award, so staying informed of those requirements will help students decide on the best course of action. 
4. Students should be aware of deadlines for dropping classes and make sure they know what paperwork and/or signatures are required to drop a class. Students who wait until the last minute to drop a class run the risk of missing an important step in the drop process.

Pests on Campus: What you need to tell your student about lice and bed bugs

Winter is the time when lice and bed bug infestations start to make their appearance on college campuses. Not only are more people exposed to these pests while they travel for the holidays, but lice in particular seem to thrive when students start sharing hats, scarves, and jackets. While bed bugs and lice certainly have what one Residential Life veteran calls the “yuck factor” the good news, if you can call it that, is that these pests do not vector diseases and there are plenty of ways to get rid of them.

Lice can be treated with over the counter shampoos and sprays, and a complete laundering of all fabrics (clothing and bedding) in hot water and a hot dryer. Bed bugs, however require heat treatments of the affected rooms and everything in them by a professional exterminator.

Students should notify staff as soon as possible if they suspect bed bug infestations because they can easily spread from one room to another on clothing. In fact, when students travel, they should also inspect hotel rooms and hostels for bed bugs and lice to avoid bringing them home with them. Complete information and pictures to help identify these creeps is available at these Centers for Disease Control (CDC) websites.

http://www.cdc.gov/parasites/bedbugs/
http://www.cdc.gov/parasites/lice/


Other Pests
Of course, prevention is the most effective way to avoid infestation of anything from insects to rodents, but college students are not necessarily known for their outstanding housekeeping skills. Students who leave food and other attractive items out for any length of time are sure to become magnets for pests. Keeping rooms and apartments clean, and free from clutter and open food items is the best prevention. Also, students who live on ground floor levels should keep doors and windows closed and pay close attention to any pests they see. Generally, if there’s one cockroach or ant, there’s a whole family somewhere nearby and the student should immediately contact staff for abatement.

Getting "Interview Ready" Over Winter Break

Winter break is a great time to help your student get interview ready. Internship and career fairs are often held in January through March on college campuses, so winter break is a great time to make sure your student has everything they need to make a good impression. 

Suggest that they:

• Edit their resume to adjust GPA and add work experiences and activities from the fall semester
• Scour social media and online profiles for any questionable material
• Make sure that they have plenty of resume paper and thank you notes for those impromptu meetings with recruiters. Some students also print business cards that contain their contact information and a brief profile
• Evaluate their interview wardrobe and purchase any additional items. Dark suits are a go-to choice, but don't forget items like shoes, belts, and dress socks or tights
• Some interviews and company interest sessions will require business casual clothing such as khakis, a white, off-white, or pastel button down, or a polo style pullover shirt
• Business casual for young women may include anything from slacks and a cardigan set to a simple sheath dress. When in doubt, browse Pinterest for some ideas and choose conservative over flashy
• More essentials include: A good haircut, a manicure set, a lint roller, and of course some interview coaching from the college's career services staff