The Go-to Guide for College Parents Is Coming Soon!

I’m very happy to announce that after years of writing articles and replying to calls and emails from parents about their concerns I had a revelation and decided to compile all this information into a handbook for college parents. I am currently editing the final copy and hope to have the book available online and in print early in 2014.

Things They Need To Know Before They Go - 5

·               How to know when they’re sick and what to do about it - Students usually get sick within the first two months of the semester. Even the most meticulous hand-washer can’t compete with the thousands of germs and viruses on any given door handle or desk. Most students catch a cold and treat themselves with over-the-counter remedies for a week or so and move on with their lives. Things get very complicated however, if your child comes down with a more serious illness or has other chronic health concerns to begin with. I’ll talk more about specifics in the chapter on health and safety, but at the least make sure your child knows where to go for medical help.

If your child does have a chronic illness, he needs to let college staff, from the Resident Assistant to the University Health Center staff know his needs. Remind him that part of being a responsible adult includes managing his illness and seeking help when he needs it. If he wears a bracelet or necklace, make sure he continues to wear it while at college. 

Things They Need To Know Before They Go - 4

·               How to cook basic meals - As with basic cleaning skills mentioned below, any student can learn how to cook basic meals, but not every student will have the tools they need to cook. At the very minimum, students should consider what kind of cooking tools and appliances will be available in their particular residence halls. Will a microwave, refrigerator, coffee pot, kettle, or a complete kitchen be available?  Once they have this knowledge they will know what utensils, pots or pans to bring with them. If they will only have access to a microwave, bringing a full set of steel saucepans, will be useless.

If he will have access to a full kitchen, your chils can get started on the “real world” business of preparing basic meals. Even if he’s never cooked before, boiling eggs, cooking pasta, rice, or boxed meals is a good way to start. A two to three quart saucepan and a steel spoon are all that will be needed. Even if the cooking instructions are not on the package, they can be found online in about 5 seconds. Gotta love smart phones!

·               How to clean - Once again, students should learn about what will be cleaned for them and how often, and what they will have to clean for themselves. If your child is living in a traditional residence hall, the common areas such as hallways, lounges, and bathrooms are usually cleaned daily while each student is responsible for cleaning his own bedroom. To clean a typical residence hall room, students really only need a bottle of all-surface spray cleaner and cleaning cloths or wipes, window and mirror cleaner, a whisk broom and pan, or small or handheld vacuum if the room is carpeted. 

Things They Need To Know Before They Go - 3

·               Manners matter – Smiling, saying please and thank you, and generally being pleasant and courteous to people around him will take your child farther than a 4.0 GPA. Manners have less to do with which fork to use at a formal dinner, and more to do with treating everyone kindly and with respect.

·               College students will fail at times. Keep trying anyway – College is competitive. There will be many times when your child doesn’t earn the grades he wants, or isn’t selected as a committee Vice President, or is rejected by a love interest. Remind him that it’s okay to be sad - for a little while. Then, encourage him to take a deep breath and get back in the game.

·               Mistakes are some of the best teachers – Think of where you would be if you’d never tried anything new or made any mistakes. Think of how dull life would be. This is an important lesson for your child to learn as well and experience is the best teacher, so allow him the freedom to take some educated risks and make mistakes. If he’s never been allowed to fail, he’s going to have a hard time telling you that he did and may lie or hide his failure. Let him know that the only failure comes from not learning from one’s mistakes.

Things They Need To Know Before They Go - 2

·               The value of a dollar – I’ll talk more about this at length in later chapters, but if your child has never had a job or had to use his own earnings to pay for basics such as clothing, shampoo, and cold medicine. This is the best time for him to learn about the value of a dollar. Don’t buy supplies for him, but instead insist that he write a list of items he expects he will need, visit the store to find out how much these things actually cost, and then, send him to the store with the list and a tight budget. He will quickly learn how to economize and prioritize needs versus wants.  He might even discover that store brands usually contain the same ingredients as name brands and cost much less.