The Senior Summer

The Senior Summer

The summer between your child’s senior year of high school and freshman year of college is a carnival ride; exhilarating, scary, and nauseating. You swing wildly between sadness over “losing” your child to college on one day, and then the next day wishing he would just get out of the house! The next few months with test your patience and sense of humor, but throughout these 10 to 12 weeks rest assured that millions of other families have gone through the same rites of passage and have come out relatively unscathed.

“But, he’s driving me absolutely crazy!”

Believe it or not, that’s a very good sign.  In fact, if your college bound-child is not making you crazy and pushing every button you have, I would be concerned because that’s what supposed to happen. If our “near adult” children didn’t drive us to push them out of the house they’d never leave; never strike out on their own, get an education, a job, find a spouse and then we’d never have a shot at grandkids. And, according to all reports, grandkids are awesome!

Putting up with your child’s current mood swings and know-it-all attitude is demanding, and it will take all your will to not alienate him in the final weeks before he leaves, but please be patient with him and yourself and know that this behavior is not only normal, it’s essential for his personal development. You may have to bite your tongue more than you let it fly, but you’re the adult with all the life experience, you’ll manage.

You may assume that since approximately two million freshmen enroll in college each fall that this whole transition would be easy, it’s not. Just like getting married, moving to a new town, buying a home or having a baby, this is a major life change not just for your child, but also for everyone in the family. Yes, younger siblings will have bizarre mood swings right along with you and your college bound child. Even the family dog will wonder why everyone is so tense and may wander in confused circles for a least a while.

While you could easily succumb to the malaise that an impending bittersweet departures always bring about, I suggest that you take some time to plan a course of action that will help you and your child over the next few months and well into the academic year. This summer is a good time to catch up on some basic survival skills with your child, and make sure that if your daughter has never changed a tire, she learns how, and if your son still hasn’t grasped the basics of wash, dry, and fold, he also learns that skill.  A lot of people ask me why its so important that college students learn such basic skills like these, after all, in any given college town there are roadside assistance services and laundry services widely available for a small fee.

While I agree that is true, learning these skills isn’t really about changing tires and doing laundry. Although it will save thousands of dollars in the long run, it’s impossible to put a dollar figure on self-reliance. If young people don’t learn that they really can do these things for themselves, they will simply assume that they can’t and will always be at the mercy of those who can. Once students start taking care of small tasks for themselves, they soon learn that there are a lot of things worth trying just to be able to say. “Yes, I can do that!”

The College Completion Study We've All Been Waiting For

To say that I was thrilled to read the preview of the upcoming Second College Completion Study (I’m going to call this the SCCS) is an understatement. I’ve been loosely following the progress of this study since I first learned about it around 2011. In short, the study hopes to complete and “clean up” data on 4 and 6 year college completion rates.

Until the National Clearinghouse Student Research Center published its first report on college completion last year, the best data we had was from the Integrated Postsecondary Education Data System (IPEDS), which as I mention in earlier posts doesn’t offer a complete picture of 4 to 6 year college completion rates since it only counts first time, full time, students who enroll in the fall semester each year and do not transfer or stop out.

This year’s SCCS will include all students across 95% of institutions even if they enrolled part time, transferred, or started in the spring semester instead of the fall. It also tracked dual enrollment students; these are usually high school students who enroll concurrently in college to get a head start on credit hours. These students were left out of last year’s study and I am excited to see how the inclusion of the 374,095 dual enrollment students changes the results. Obviously, if this group of students has the motivation, socio-economic advantages, and parental support to start college level classes while still enrolled in high school, these 374,095 students should make a profound impact on completion rates.

The study will be available next month, so I’ll keep you posted!

SCCS - http://nscresearchcenter.org/

IPEDS –  http://nces.ed.gov/ipeds/

Health and Property Insurance

Does he need personal property insurance?

This is another one of those “grown-up” issues that students will need to be aware of before they head to campus. It is estimated that students bring between $5,000.00 to $10,000.00 worth of personal property with them to campus and when you combine all those easily carried valuables with the laid-back, open atmosphere on most college campuses, you have a recipe for property loss. In fact, larceny is the most reported crime on most college campuses. With this in mind, insurance is a must, but what kind?

Most homeowner’s policies will cover students’ valuables if they are living on campus and still list the family’s home address as their permanent address.  Even so, it is always a good idea to confirm your coverage and its limitations with your insurance agent before your child leaves for college. Also keep in mind that if your child makes claims against your homeowner’s policy, it could negatively affect your rate and ability to maintain coverage.

Another option is renter’s or student insurance. Renter’s or student insurance can cover a specific amount or just specific items and is usually very affordable. It will also not adversely affect your homeowner’s policy of your child makes a claim. Most major insurance companies offer renter’s insurance so speak to your current agent for the best rate.

What about health insurance

If there was ever a hot-button issue in the United States today, this is it. The cost of healthcare and insurance is staggering and although healthcare and coverage is usually the last thing on your student’s mind it is essential that you discuss the ins and outs of your policy with your child.  Imagine your dismay and frustration when you discover that your child went to an out-of network emergency room or clinic for a broken wrist when an in-network hospital was just a few more miles down the road.  The difference in the bills could well be in the thousands so it is important to discuss your policy with your child and determine where the in-network facilities are located near campus. The last thing either of you want is to pay for out-of-network medical bills instead of tuition.

Most medium to large campuses have their own health service centers or walk-in clinics on campus, and many times campus clinics are cheaper for certain services due to grants and subsidies. But, it is still a good idea to compare costs for routine visits, physicals, and prescriptions before he starts college.

Financial Issues

Living expenses on a college campus can range from cheap to way too darn much. Some parents will call me in a panic after receiving the first bill and explain that it is much more than they expected. Upon further discussion and examination it is usually due to the student’s choice, or last minute change, in residence hall and/or meal plan.

My campus is a good example of how this can happen. Students can choose anything from a $394.00 per month traditional hall to a $700.00 per month furnished apartment complete with washer, dryer and a full kitchen. The additional $2754.00 per year is obviously going to be noticed and cut deeply into savings or your budget. 

Before your child sets foot on campus, be completely honest with him about what you can afford and if he wants more than what you can provide he will have to earn the money for the more expensive housing himself. It won’t take him long to discover that the suite or apartment may be newer and more spacious, but not worth the additional 15 hours he has to work each week to afford it.  

Explain that the money you saved for his education, your retirement or the mortgage you paid on your home for the past twenty years did not magically appear overnight, but was accumulated over many years through planning, sacrifice, and steady saving. College students know this truth, but when you have lived a mere 18 years and only remember about 14 of those years, you don’t have the necessary life experience to fully understand the concept of delayed gratification.

* Some responsibilities and expenses will fall into parents’ laps for many years to come, even beyond graduation. Some people see this as an over-extension of adolescence, but there are practical reasons for parents to do these things. First and foremost, it’s cheaper. Even though your child is an adult, it is usually more cost effective to buy his health insurance for him through your employer if it is offered, and to include him on your cell phone family plan (our family plan currently covers three generations and six devices!)

Tips for First Generation College Parents

·      Get to know the college campus and the town in which it is located

·      Join the college’s parents association

·      Believe in your child even when it seems he doesn’t believe in himself

·      Encourage your child to seek out a student group or mentor program for first generation students

·      Understand that your child may not be able to attend family functions like he used to

·      Encourage other family members and younger siblings to join your child on campus

·      After a while your child will consider campus to be his home, this is normal for most students and doesn’t mean that he’s abandoning you

·      College students may change in appearance or in the language they use, but deep down they are still the same person you raised with the same personality and values

First Generation Students

Each college will have it’s own definition of a first generation student, but usually, If your child is the first in your family to attend college they are considered “first generation”. Some campuses even extend this title to students whose parents or other family members attended college, but did not graduate. Whatever the definition, first generation college students universally experience stress, a feeling of being an outsider on campus, and the burden of being the trailblazer for their entire family.

For first generation parents it’s important not to be intimidated by college, and the best way to do this is to learn as much as you can about your child’s college and where he can go for help if he needs it. Almost all colleges have handbooks for students and many have parent handbooks as well. Find copies of these books, read them thoroughly, and keep them handy. College websites are also wonderful resources for first generation parents.

For most students, having a parent or family member take an interest in their education and being willing to listen and find out more about their college is half the battle. First generation parents don’t have to know all, or any, of the answers to their child’s questions they just have to know how to help find the answers. The first step in this process is having your child clarify the question. You may think that asking him more questions is the last thing he needs now, but it’s the best way to pinpoint the potential problem and start working on a solution.

Keep in mind that as your child is learning, this is also a great learning experience for you too. Take advantage of programs on campus or parent networks that can help ease these transitions for you and your child.