Surviving Winter Break with Your College Student

copyright 2014 Francesca Gragg 

Mid-term Grades

Not all colleges and universities post mid-term grades, but if your student’s does, now is a good time to ask them to review their mid-term grades with you. If grades are good, keep up the good work! If not, there are a few things to consider before you panic.

1. Most mid-term grades only reflect one or two grades on quizzes or papers and are typically lower than final grades. Some faculty will even list a grade of “I” or “Incomplete” because there have not been enough opportunities for students to earn a valid grade. The student should always check the syllabus or login to an online classroom site for the class to understand how their mid-term grade is actually being calculated. If this information is not posted in the syllabus or online, the student can always meet with the professor to find out how the grade was calculated. 
2. If the grade is low (a D or C) but not failing, now is an ideal time to start working with a tutor or increasing study hours to boost grades in the second half of the semester. Most freshmen employ the same study strategies they used in high school and these approaches are simply insufficient for college classes. Sometimes, students just need to spend some time with a tutor or academic counselor to learn more effective study techniques.
3. If your student feels like the grade is too low to raise, even with extra help or outside work, they need to set up an appointment with the professor or an adviser immediately to discuss ways to either salvage the grade in the class or drop the class to save their overall GPA. *NOTE- Some scholarships or grants require a specific GPA to maintain the award, so staying informed of those requirements will help students decide on the best course of action. 

Surviving Low Final Exam Grades

Students who earn a low final exam grade can be deeply disappointed, but you can help them gain perspective by remembering some of these tips:

• If your child calls about failing a final exam, listen and let him or her express their disappointment. Unless they specifically ask your advice, just be their “shoulder to cry on” and let them know you’re still proud of them for trying hard and you are willing to help them work out a plan to salvage a low GPA after final exams week.
• Remind them at the they will take between 40 to 50 classes just to earn an undergraduate degree, so one low final exam grade, in one class, will not damage their entire academic career as much as they think.
• Ask if the class can be repeated during the summer. If so, the student may consider repeating the class to raise the grade. Some colleges and universities allow students’ grades in repeated classes to replace the original grade in the GPA calculation. A review of the institution’s grading or “academic forgiveness” policies can shed light on whether or not your child’s college has such a policy.
• Offer a reality check. Students on a semester term have 16 weeks to earn the grade they want in the class, so trying to make an A on a final exam for a class in which the student has a D average simply isn’t realistic. This is not to imply that the student should not bother to study, but sometimes students need a reality check that only a parent can give.
• Ask if they need a certain grade in the class to graduate? If not, it is wise to simply accept the grade and not worry about repeating the class. Students are often worried about not having a 3.0 or higher GPA to post on their resume, but many students post their “major GPA”, or the GPA in the classes taken only for the major requirements, on their resume too. This allows them to essentially explain an F or D in a non-major related class that may have no bearing on their future employability or graduate school admission.
• Stay positive even when your child is not. During final exams it is important for your child to focus on the exams as they come and not worry about disappointment or criticism from parents. I firmly believe that constructive criticism is necessary, but expressing your disappointment or critiquing your child during final exams is counter-productive. Be positive and supportive now, and worry about expressing your concerns or disappointment later. After final grades for all their classes are posted, your child can evaluate what worked and what did not in terms of studying, prioritizing projects, and time management, and can develop a plan to improve their grades in the future. 

How to Avoid "Hovering" When Things Go Wrong

·               Get all the facts first, and then question the facts. When college students find themselves in trouble of any kind they are likely to gloss over, or flat out deny their responsibility especially if they know you’ll freak out. Whether it is a semester of straight Ds and Fs or an impending $600.00 charge for damages to his residence hall room, you can be sure that, according to him, he had nothing to do with it. You will be understandably angry to see a semester’s worth of failing grades or a bill for $600.00, but before you call all his professors or the Director of housing, realize that your anger is actually with your child. Deep down, you know that professors actually do not give grades, students earn them, and relatively few students are ever charged for room damage.

I’ll talk more about FERPA, or the Family Educational Right to Privacy Act later in this book, but FERPA essentially keeps professors and university administrators from discussing students’ educational, judicial, and financial records with anyone besides the student, including you. While this law is overall positive, and keeps your child’s academic records safe, it also causes problems for parents. It means that the housing staff can’t show you the photographs of the broken window, and a professor can’t show you the student’s record of low test scores or missed assignments. In other words, you’re only getting half of the facts at best, and university officials are unable to tell you the rest of them.

Parents are programmed to fix problems, but once your child is an adult your role changes from rescuer to advisor. Instead of trying to fix a problem or make it go away, your child really needs you to help him understand how to avoid the same problem in the future, otherwise he’ll experience it again and again.

* Students who complain to professors about grades rarely have the grade raised without a sincere effort on the student’s part. If your child has received a low grade on one assignment there are some things he can do to try to raise the overall grade in the class. 

Review the class syllabus. These documents are distributed to every student in every class at the beginning of the semester. While most students rarely read them, they offer a great deal of information about the grading policies for classes.  A student may discover that he can request to drop an unusually low test grade in the class at the end of the semester, or that he is allowed to write a paper or make a class presentation on a specific topic for extra credit. Professors allow this type of leeway to students because it creates more learning opportunities.

Make an appointment with the professor during his or her office hours. During the appointment the student should ask for help improving his grade on the next test or paper, not complain about the grade he already received.  The professor will usually offer some suggestions on ways to improve studying in the class or may suggest the student work with a specific tutor, study group, or teaching assistant.  On rare occasions, the professor may allow the student to repeat the test or rewrite the assignment or paper, however the student needs to be aware that the new grade might be lower.