When your College Student Moves Back Home for the Summer

When college students return home for the summer family dynamics will shift once again. It's important to recognize that things will change and that the whole family will need some time to adjust. Just knowing that tension will occur and tempers may flare is half the battle.

By the time summer rolls around college students are used to their new independence and are probably expecting to maintain that independence at home. Of course, parents will see a child who is still a young adult and not quite as independent as he thinks he is.

There is room for compromise here. In most cases parents are willing to loosen curfews and chore requirements as long as their adult child checks in periodically at night and the chores are finished on time. College students will claim that they want to be treated like adults so remind them that adults will:

• Be respectful of themselves and their families

• Tell their loved ones where they will be, with whom, and for how long, and check in periodically

• Follow laws regarding alcohol and drugs

• Contribute their share to the family whether it be financially, helping with housework, yard work or errands

• Maintain their own possessions including clothing, electronics, their room and bathroom, vehicle etc.

• Be willing to compromise and calmly discuss problems and work out solution

Making Summer Count

Even if your child doesn't have a “dream job”, study abroad classes, or a summer internship there are still a number of ways to make this summer an educational experience.

• Work! - Any summer job will offer lessons in the “Real World”. Some students don’t see the value in a summer of working in food service, retail, or landscaping but all of these jobs require hard, task-oriented work, and the ability to manage time and handle people in sometimes difficult situations. I've hired many people in my life and the ones who were the best employees started out working in the most tedious of jobs. The way I see it; if you can wait tables, mow lawns, or deal with angry customers all day, you will be a conscientious employee who won't be afraid to work.

• Travel – The location doesn't have to be distant or exotic for learning to take place. Even seeking out a new adventure in a neighboring state can offer learning experiences.  As we age, travel becomes more and more about new experiences and learning opportunities. Even weekend getaways to local areas of interest or historical sites can enhance education and broaden students' world views.

• Independent study - Studying for anything from the MCAT to individual study in a foreign language or a non-credit, online class will broaden horizons and keep students’ intellectual muscles strong. Students who are interested in research can spend their summers working on a preliminary literature review for their future thesis or senior project. Believe it or not, some students even read for pleasure during the summer so they can easily answer the question “What was the last good book you read?”

• Volunteering – So, your child didn't find his dream internship this summer- don’t fret. There may be opportunities for similar experiences through volunteer work or job shadowing with a relative or family friend in the student’s field of study. Whatever volunteer experiences your child takes part in during the summer, be sure they record the hours worked and ask for a letter confirming the hours or a letter of reference from the volunteer supervisor.