When college students return home for the summer family
dynamics will shift once again. It's important to recognize that things will
change and that the whole family will need some time to adjust. Just knowing
that tension will occur and tempers may flare is half the battle.
By the time summer rolls around college students are used to
their new independence and are probably expecting to maintain that independence
at home. Of course, parents will see a child who is still a young adult and not
quite as independent as he thinks he is.
There is room for compromise here. In most cases parents are
willing to loosen curfews and chore requirements as long as their adult child
checks in periodically at night and the chores are finished on time. College
students will claim that they want to be treated like adults so remind them
that adults will:
- Be respectful of themselves and their families
- Tell their loved ones where they will be, with whom, and for how long, and check in periodically
- Follow laws regarding alcohol and drugs
- Contribute their share to the family whether it be financially, helping with housework, yard work or errands
- Maintain their own possessions including clothing, electronics, their room and bathroom, vehicle etc.
- Be willing to compromise and calmly discuss problems and work out solution
