Same Kid, New Opinions

Most students return home from the first semester of college with new ideas and opinions and sometimes these opinions clash with parents’ values or beliefs. It is common for someone who has spent the past four months in a new environment with new people to start ”trying out” and exploring new ideas and opinions. This can take the form of bringing up dinner time topics in which the student has never before had an interest, or arguing passionately about a political or social cause that is completely new or out of character. While this can often ruffle parent’s feathers or even scare them, it is not only common, but it’s an essential part of a college student’s personal development.

Students will find that people they meet in college will question the values and beliefs they were raised to follow and that is a good thing. If a student’s values are never challenged, they will never know for sure where they stand on certain issues and will not be able to articulate why they hold some beliefs and not others. At some point, we all have to examine or beliefs about the world and ourselves and decide where we stand on certain issues.

Parents can help their children through these times of inquiry by being ready and willing to listen to their child talk through their uncertainty. Asking questions and avoiding criticism or judgment will help parents and students discuss topics without anger or hurt feelings. Also remember that in a world full of opinions and punditry, there’s nothing wrong with saying. “I don’t know” or “I’m not sure” about a topic. It can be a relief for a student to hear that even mom and dad aren’t sure about some topics and that ambiguity exists and can be discussed too.

While your student talks, take the opportunity to listen to the message underneath what they are saying. It is usually that they are having new experiences and are being challenged to make decisions they haven’t had to make before. The result is sometimes fear, distress, or excitement, but these challenges always lead to young people who’ve grown intellectually and emotionally, and can think critically and articulate their thoughts and feelings.

The First Semester Grade Drop

Unfortunately, holiday cheer can be dampened when first semester grades arrive. If you are unpleasantly surprised by what you see on your student’s first grade report from college, you’re not alone. Many students see a drop of a letter grade or more between the grades they saw in high school and what they earned in their first semester of college. There are a few common reasons for this:

A 4.0, or “perfect”, GPA in high school is fairly common these days.  When our generation attended high school there may have been one or two students who were able to maintain a perfect GPA and each high school probably only had one valedictorian.  This is no longer the case, and many students from a variety of high schools have never made anything below an A in any class.  This is simply a result of grade inflation* in high school and unfortunately it can do a lot of harm to a student’s psyche when they arrive at college and realize they are one of many “perfect” students vying for top grades.

There’s more to the first semester of college than a GPA. In addition to attending 15-18 credit hours worth of class each week, your child has also had to learn how to navigate an entirely new world.  Everything from how and where they live, shower, eat, and socialize is completely new and learning the ins and outs of college life is emotionally and intellectually draining. Even students who earned a 2.0 GPA have actually learned a great deal from college in their first semester.

College is harder than high school. When I relay this fact to students most of them give me the “Duh, no kidding” look, but some are surprised. They think that they can employ the same strategies they used in high school and earn the same grades, but that usually doesn’t work. Students are in college classrooms less than half of the time they were in high school classrooms and they have to do much of their reading, writing, and learning on their own or in student groups. In addition, college classes require that students think through problems critically and develop their own solutions based on research, their own or someone else’s. In other words, in addition to simply answering questions, they have to explain why they answered in that way and how they came to their conclusions. This is the mental equivalent of heavy lifting and it takes time for students to get used to flexing their intellectual muscles.

If your child is disappointed by his grades in the first semester, don’t worry. Most students’ grades rebound during the next semester after they adjust their study and time management habits. If your child needs help with these issues, a visit to a study skills center, academic counselor, or attending a workshop on these topics can give him the information, skills, and motivation he needs to improve his grades in future semesters.

* http://www.act.org/research/policymakers/pdf/issues.pdf

http://research.collegeboard.org/sites/default/files/publications/2012/7/researchreport-2011-2-investigating-grade-inflation-non-equivalence.pdf

 

Get "Interview Ready" Over Winter Break

Winter break is a great time to help your student get interview ready. Many colleges hold their summer job and internship fairs in January and February, so winter break is a great time to make sure your child has everything he needs to make a good impression. 

Suggest that he:

• Edit his resume to adjust his GPA and add work experiences and activities from the fall semester.
• Scrub his social media and online profiles for any questionable material
• Purchase plenty of resume paper for job fairs, and plenty of simple thank you notes for after the interview. Some students also print business cards that contain their contact information and a brief profile.
• Evaluate his interview wardrobe and purchase any additional items. If he’s starting from square one, he can’t go wrong with a dark suit, white or off-white shirt, and a couple of conservative ties and pocket squares.
• Make sure he also has a belt, a nice pair of dress shoes, and a few pair of dress socks.
• Some interviews and company interest sessions will require business casual clothing such as khakis, a white, off-white, or pastel button down, or a polo style pullover shirt.
• Women should err on the side of caution and choose a dark suit (make sure the skirt is no higher than an inch above the kneecap when standing), a simple colored blouse, and conservative jewelry. Heels should be comfortable and 2 inches high or less, and remember that appropriate undergarments are an essential part of any outfit.
• Business casual for young women may include anything from slacks and a cardigan to a simple sheath dress. When in doubt, browse Pinterest for some ideas and choose conservative over flashy.
• More essentials include: A good haircut or money to get one, a manicure set, a shiny smile, and some interview coaching from the career services staff on campus.

 

Blue Books and Scantrons: Final Exam Essentials

If your child is taking final exams soon he’ll probably be studying a lot, but there’s one way he can prepare for exams that doesn’t involve studying at all. It involves purchasing the correct Blue Book or Scantron forms. No matter how techno savvy college students are these days some things never seem to change, and most students will still take exams using pencil, or pen, and paper.

Blue Books – Are exactly what the name implies.  These slim paper booklets with the traditional blue covers, approved at most colleges and universities for essay and short answer exams, range in size from 8.5 x 7 inches to 8.5 x 11 inches and usually contain 4-12 sheet of wide ruled paper. Some professors will allow students to choose their size and number of pages while others specify a certain size.

You may think it’s easy for students to cheat using Blue Books since they can hide notes within the pages of the book, but usually students will pass in their blank books at the beginning of the exam and the professor will shuffle and redistribute them randomly to all members of the class.

* A Green Book also exists and is just a recycled, earth friendly version of the Blue Book.
 

 

Scantrons – Remember all those “fill-in-the-bubble” exams and standardized tests you took in K-12? Well, if you remember what those test’s answer sheets looked like you have a good idea of what a Scantron form looks like. There are dozens of varieties of these forms from narrow, 3.5 x 8.5 inch, 30 answer forms, to 8.5 x 11 inch double-sided, 240 answer forms. Whatever size they are, they all can be electronically scanned and scored in the same way and are used for multiple choice and true false question exams.

Whatever your student needs for his exams, it’s always a good idea for him to buy in advance and buy extras as well. These forms can always be purchased at campus books stores, as well as some big box stores in college towns, and they are also often distributed for free by academic advising offices, tutoring centers or the campus library.

Tips for Care Packages During Finals Week

Finals week is a popular time for parents to send care packages to students.  There are a number of online merchants who will send basic care packages to your student and a Google search will turn up dozens of them offering various packages in various price ranges. Most students, however, prefer the personal touch and sending a care package is not difficult if you follow these tips.

1. If you send baked goods, try to send soft items such as unfrosted cakes or cupcakes, muffins, brownies, or bar cookies. 
2. If you are sending a cake, brownies/ bars, cupcakes or muffins, simply bake it in the pan (the recyclable aluminum or non-stick varieties work well and come with a cover) and send the entire pan uncut to preserve freshness. This method also works well with rice crispy treats or other bars that do not require refrigeration. *Cookies that are crisp will turn into crumbs during shipment.
3. Send a birthday or special occasion cake uncut with packaged frosting, sprinkles and candles, if they are allowed. Include a set of plates, napkins and forks so your child can have a party without having to bake.
4. I'm also a fan of the gingerbread house kits available in stores during the holidays. No, it's not like a homemade gingerbread house, but it's a fun and yummy distraction from the stress of studying for final exams.
5. Send your child a specialty item from your hometown or something else he can’t get on campus. You may also consider sending items that are expensive for him to purchase himself. Even “K-cups” can add up if he uses more than one or two per day.
6. Send a pizza party from the internet. Most national pizza delivery chains (think Pizza Hut etc) and many local ones, offer online ordering of pizzas, snacks and drinks. Average cost for a large pizza, wings, and drinks for a party of 4-6 is $40.00 plus tip. Be sure to make arrangements with your child in advance so he knows when the party will arrive and can invite his friends.
7. * Commuting students love care packages too. A gift basket of favorite snacks or gift cards to shops or restaurants on or near campus left outside your commuting student’s bedroom door says, “I love you” and is just as comforting to a student living at home too! the gift cards will be welcome while he's studying on campus instead of at home.